Part 1: Bridge as Co-Conspiritors
Let’s begin with SOWK 600 - Social justice and theory in advanced social work, taught by Yahya El-Lahib, MSW, PhD. About halfway through this class, some students and community members set themselves up on campus to protest the genocide in Gaza and were met with a grotesque display of “power over” as the police were called and inflicted violent force to remove the protestors. Regardless of reasons and rationale for this undue use of violence and force, I felt like how the school responded officially was deeply disappointing and a missed opportunity to be a force of light and love for humanity. After the incident the school president communicated misinformation about the event, including stating that no one was injured. Not remotely true. Additionally, I was equally disappointed by the lack of response from the social work department. Our professor at the time was also distraught by the events and created space for us to feel our discomfort and despair. What was discussed was…
anger towards those who wield power so destructively,
the shame of being a part of an institution that is so quick to harm its own students and then respond to it with a colonial/disconnected confidence,
our desire to “do something”,
the hope that we can make a difference,
the hopelessness that nothing we do makes a difference,
the fear of retribution, and
hesitation as we do not want to be rash or inflict harm on others by appearing to “take sides” in a complex and historically rich polarization between groups of people.
We have had many classes leading up to this one where some event in the world was distressing and important for us to feel and discuss, and instead we would show up to class and our professor would proceed with business as usual. This class, this professor, was different, and it moved me in ways that I hope to always remember. We sat in a circle, we held space for heavy emotions and potent silence, we listened and shared tearfully. I felt the waves of so many emotions move through me, often accompanied with momentary intensity that says “do something” or that had me wanting to escape or avoid. I observed and felt it all. By the end of that class I felt inspired and brave as the camaraderie of my cohort was palpable. The felt experience of co-conspiritors began to expand within me and I recognized how much more powerful we were as a group rather than individuals. Several ideas were in motion and there was a general consensus that each one of us could be involved, or not, in whatever way we felt aligned with. I began composing a letter to the dean of social work and had several other students contribute with edits and ideas until we collectively felt ready to deliver. Letter attached here.
Soon after this letter was delivered we received a kind and receptive response from the dean, and arranged a meeting with her. Several students in my cohort gathered to discuss this meeting, what our intention was and how we wanted to approach this. We discussed the importance of our demeanor and the words we used, to ensure that we did not intentionally get defenses up. I was deeply moved by the notion that how we show up in this interaction has the possibility of creating positive ripples that could have a much larger impact. We are seeing “power over” and colonial reactivity in the larger sphere, sides pitted against each other as rage fights against rage, and I am convinced that there is another way.
When we show up with a desire to understand, listen, and be a part of creating a new way, we can change the tide of what happens next. This is not to say this is the only way. In fact, one of the students we collaborated with who does alot of advocacy work reminded me that these complex issues require multiple groups fighting for change in different ways. An ecosystem in and of itself, all parts, roles and approaches needed. Our approach was an important piece of the puzzle but certainly not the best or most important.
Myself and five other students met with the dean, along with another professor who advocates for student wellbeing and equity in a consistent and powerful way. It was an honest conversation where we expressed our disappointment on many levels, what we saw as unacceptable, our worries, our fears, our desires to see those most impacted by this to receive support and recognition. We also held space to validate and listen to the dean and the position she is in. We came up with the next step, to curate a talking circle with more students and professors, and an Indigenous Elder to facilitate and hold space in a good way, so that we could continue what had been started in that conversation. A bright spot for me was hearing the dean express gratitude and appreciation to be met with space and understanding. Not something she was getting from many other interactions at that time.
We moved forward with the talking circle, and again a healing space was cultivated as we shared openly and were met with listening ears and hearts. Being witnessed and witnessing are powerful experiences.
We had an intention to continue organizing this kind of space for students and professors, somewhat like a legacy we could leave as we gear up for graduation the following year. Yet as the summer came to an end and school started back up in the Fall alongside our second practicum, I felt the weight of responsibility and lack of time and space to organize an ongoing circle in that way. In some ways I feel like we are kept busy in an attempt to squash such ongoing events, as it is one thing to organize it, it’s a whole other to have ongoing participation as so many folks are already stretched thin and overwhelmed with the hustle of life.
I feel many things about this experience. I feel changed by the vulnerability of our professor and how moved I was by his ability to change the plan of our class based on real world events that he was feeling and allowed us space to feel. I feel grateful for the awakening of the advocate within me and the powerful experience of collaborating with co-conspiritors in the composing of that letter, the preparation for our meeting, and the planning and participation of our talking circle. I feel hope from the way we engaged with our dean and the positive ripples that will continue to impact this institution.
And, I feel disappointed that this effort we put in to generate change stopped once we got busy in the Fall. I feel my privilege in that I am able to step in to advocate and then step away to focus on other things, while I know there are many people who remain in this sphere of work who are unwilling, or unable, to stop despite how busy they get. And, I do not want to discount what I did, or what I learned, or how this has impacted who I am or how I show up in the world. Ultimately, this class experience and everything that grew from it has taught me that social justice is an embodied quality that I want to continue integrating into my being. As Yahya El-Lahib told us, “social justice is a verb, not a noun”.
One final aspect of this class experience that has stuck with me, was the introduction to the perspective and collective movement that is anti-sanism. I wrote about it in one of my paper’s for this class:
As someone who has a long history with various mental health afflictions, I am aware of the shame in this struggle and the spiral of self-loathing that is fueled by wondering “what is wrong with me?” Anti-sanism expands the scope of mental health struggles from the individual to include the broader context of both the dominant Eurocentric ideology that is grounded in white supremacy, domination, extraction, capitalism and separation as well as the systematic perpetuation and marginalization of individuals who are diagnosed and pathologized within the medical health system (MacPhee & Wilson Norrad, 2021). For me, to engage in anti-sanist work is to embody self-compassion and relationality as it requires we step out of a deficit-lens, we no longer blame individual biology and we disengage with dualistic categories of well or unwell, sane or insane. This has expanded my understanding of self-compassion as I now view it as being an act of resistance towards a culture that uses sanism for how it judges well-being and worthiness. To engage in self-compassion is to bring grace, acceptance, and common humanity to our experiences. If those who are discriminated against by society for being “insane” can develop self-compassion, they may rely on society’s depiction of their worthiness as less significant.
References:
MacPhee, K., & Wilson Norrad, L. (2021). Learning and unlearning: Two social workers’ autoethnographic exploration into mad studies. Journal of Progressive Human Services, 33(1), 40–61. https://doi.org/10.1080/10428232.2021.2007456