As a teacher, I often find myself pausing when I am in a flowing, visceral experience to reflect on the steps and potent cues that are present to further my ability in guiding individuals or facilitating groups in to embodied states. While I love my desire to teach and guide others, it also comes with some challenges. I have had many experiences that were moving deeper and expanding wider than I had ever previously experienced and my inclination to pause the flow to asses where I am and recall the steps to get there have pulled me out of pure presence. Sometimes I am able to surrender right back in, and other times the pure energy moving through me stops its flow and I am not able to tap back in. This recurring experience has brought me closer to understanding the Quantum with the reminder…..
“You can’t know where something is and how it is moving simultaneously.”
I understand this as speaking to the realms of the Experiencer versus the Narrator. When I am fully in the flow of pure sensational experience, the flow often stops when the Narrator chimes in too much to make meaning and structure. Both modes are imperative and overlap in many ways, yet they are also distinctly different and grow stronger and wiser when you can cultivate a relationship with them separately and in unity.
I recall being quite confused the first several times I was guided in Embodiment practices. I was told to get out of my thinking mind and just feel, just notice what I am feeling, just experience what I am feeling, just observe what I am feeling and how it moves. And then I would be asked what I am noticing, and suddenly my “thinking/narrating” mode would begin analyzing, relating to memory or coming up with ideas, and I would lose touch with the pure experience of sensation and embodiment. How do I describe what I am feeling without “thinking?”
This is where the overlap comes into the picture. “Thinking” in the traditional sense of the word is the realm of the narrator and often is experienced as thinking about the past, the future, deciphering meaning and story telling. On the other hand, “thinking” in the ream of embodiment refers to observing and engaging with the sensations in the body in the present moment. Sensing and feeling without stacking on meaning-making, judgements, action plans, and problem solving is the skill of the Divine Feminine energy within. It is the Liminal Stage that can be expanded and illuminated to feel more and get access to deeper levels of wisdom that cannot be heard or felt in a busy or activated mind-body.
As we explore and feel and sense what is being experienced internally moment to moment, we develop the ability to hold loving space for ourselves and offer ourselves the unconditional love and self compassion that is required for us to access the space to regenerate and upgrade our DNA. This is how we get out of our own way and tap into our innate ability to heal. You will know you are in the realm of the experiencer when you are noticing what you are feeling and allowing it to be there. It is a state of turning towards what you notice with love and curiosity.
True confidence arrives from an internal appraisal of our ability and capability in whatever the task at hand is. Whereas, arrogance is a forced state of overplaying one’s ability that does not include an internal appraisal and relationship with the divine energy within. Any quality that feels forced is simply a mask we are wearing in an attempt to cover up the wounds of insecurity, scarcity or fear. To take the mask of and develop the pure and deep virtues of essence, you need to turn towards the discomfort beneath the facade to feel, love, hold space and integrate the unprocessed or unfinished sensation/emotion with your loving presence. When we learn how to feel unconditionally, to notice sensation and be with ourselves in the liminal stage between impulse and reaction, we see the intensity that has habitually been pushed away and we open up to the possibility that there is treasure on the other side of this discomfort. It is in this space that we start to reframe the story we live into and upgrade what we are capable of. More presence means more power.
Creating daily rituals for practice provide nourishment as our mind-body harmonizes and integrates when rhythm is present. Yet even too much ritual can cause problems. Blindly engaging in ritual tends to create cognitive biases, which are systematic tendencies that lead our thinking away from a rational judgement, even when we are presented with facts that prove our current beliefs are not true. Our mind is constantly constructing our understanding of reality and the foundation is composed of our beliefs and experiences. When one of these beliefs is challenged, it can feel as though our whole construction is threatened. When living in an unconscious auto-pilot state, it’s a lot more “efficient” and comfortable in the moment to disregard new information rather than allow our whole life construct to be broken down and rebuilt.
However, when you have a daily practice of releasing the grip of the analytical/thinking mind and continue cultivating a relationship with the divine feminine by surrendering control, letting go of the material world and opening to the immaterial, recognizing the illusory construct of your ego/personality and feeling into the Source energy of loving presence with the knowledge that We Are All One, it becomes a lot easier to consistently adjust the construct of the mind and strengthen a Growth Mindset. When you are not overly identified with your “mind,” your beliefs, your personality, or the material world, it won’t feel as threatening to break down the construct occasionally and rebuild with the new information you have.
When we are too ingrained or attached to our beliefs - habitually in our survival mode - than anything that does not fit our current model of perception is often belittled, fought against, or ignored altogether. Too much rigidity leaves no room for growth. If you are willing to be wrong, you’ll see your own biases with much more ease and compassion.
As the saying goes, knowledge is for the mind and experience is for the body. Knowing this work is different than experiencing this work. We need both.
Want to experience this work? Check out my offerings or reach out for personalized support. I would love to hold space for you.
xoxox