Microglial Cells - fascia of the brain

I stumbled across a couple of articles a few days ago that completely grabbed my attention with a deep knowing of significance. These articles have enthralled my attention and have given me some new insights into my own mental health journey and what my passion and purpose is to this day. The articles are about microglial cells in the brain and their connection to various mental and physical health and ailments.

What are glial cells? They are part of the neuronal family yet they function differently than the neurons that communicate through electrical currents jumping from one neuron to the next and so on. Glial cells can either function primarily as the physical support for neurons, including the ability for neurons to grow myelin, or they provide nutrients to neurons and regulate the extracellular fluid of the brain, especially surrounding neurons and their synapses. Microglial cells are a specific glial cell found in the brain, and have a similar role as the fascial system of the body.

Let’s detour for a moment for a brief reminder of what Fascia is and why this connection to microglial cells is blowing my mind right now.

In a nutshell, fascia refers to the connective tissue that surrounds every layer of every organ, cell, and structure in your body. The Fascial System surrounds, interweaves, and interpenetrates everything in the body and allows all body systems to be integrated. It is composed of elastin (which allows the body to move in every dynamic plane possible), collagen (which provides the strength and structure of the human form), and a gel-like substance referred to as ground-substance (which is the fluid that fills all the space in the extracellular matrix; i.e. the space outside the cell). The human body is innately intelligent, because the fascia is a wise fibre-optic system that works like an organ in and of itself. It has become more clear in recent years that traumatic memories, implicit memories, habits, and our general history is stored within the body, within the fascia. The fascia is the biological page that our life’s narrative is written on. This is why it is nearly impossible to think your way into a new state of being when your body is holding on to the stories of the past. You can think one way, but if your body feels a different way, feeling will trump thinking, otherwise we shut down feeling and lose access to the power and innate wisdom of the body.

When we address the body, rather than simply the thinking or language ability of the mind, we can heal and transform at a much more successful and efficient rate. 

The Nervous System is embedded in the Fascia, and highjacks the entire body anytime it receives a signal of “danger” (which is far more often than necessary nowadays). The Nervous System reacts to posture, movement, thoughts, and chemicals of our inner-pharmacy. It’s job is survival, so it is extremely sensitive and animalistic in nature. When we live in chronic activation (hyperarousal) or deactivation (hypoarousal) we lose touch with our innately intuitive, sensitive and wise fascia. And, as the saying goes, “use it or lose it.” When we do not properly care and tend to the fascia, the physical body, our body begins to harden, break down, and become separated and disconnected versus integrated and whole.   

Now, back to microglial cells. Just as the fascia of the body can be the conduit of whole body communication, wisdom, freedom of movement, and immense joy and pleasure of living, the microglial cells of the brain operate in a similar fashion.

In the first article I mentioned above, it is stated that previously scientists thought glial cells only had the function of support for neurons, yet it has become clear that glial cells are active participants in a number of neurologic processes, including pain and various symptoms associated with various mental health afflictions.

This is a big deal for many reasons, one being the massive amount of microglial cells in our system.

“Outnumbering neurons in all areas of the brain, glial cells account for over half the volume and more than 70% of the total CNS cell population.”

The new understanding of microglial cells has expanded the view of what these amazing cells are actually doing for us on a daily bases.

“Mirroring their wide distribution centrally and peripherally, glial cells have multiple functions in a wide variety of physiological processes, including CNS development, pathogen recognition, phagocytosis, antigen presentation, cytotoxicity, extracellular matrix remodeling, repair, stem cell regulation, regulation of tumor cell proliferation, lipid transport, neuronal communication, and modulation of inflammation.”

Another fascinating aspect of the microglial cell is that it expresses cannabinoid receptors, which plays a role in the body’s natural ability to relieve pain, produce anti-inflammatory chemicals, provide antioxidants, and engage in neuronal protection and self preservation in the face of stressors. Microglial cells basically support our body’s ability to heal itself!

However, just as a friendly puppy can become a rabid terror if treated poorly with neglect and abuse, our very own Glial Cells are capable of turning against us, producing chemicals that block homeostasis and actually increase the chronification of pain. When we neglect our own basic needs, our body, our glial cells, literally become agents of destruction.

The second article I mentioned speaks to this potently and refers to microglia as game-changers for mental health.

“Under the right circumstances, microglia keep the brain healthy; they twirl around neurons like tiny dancers stretching out their long, elegant limbs, soothing and bathing neurons in anti-inflammatory factors that help protect the brain’s all-important neural circuitry.

But microglia, it turns out, also have a dark side. When they sense incoming threats — the same triggers that can overwhelm our body’s immune system: chronic stressors (including adverse childhood experiences), environmental toxins, trauma, infections— microglia can morph from angels into frenzied assassins. They can begin to spit forth inflammatory toxins and engulf and destroy the very neural synapses they once protected — those fundamental to our mind state, mental processing, mood, behavior, and memories. Indeed, the root causes of depression and anxiety, stem not so much from chemical imbalances but from microglia gone rogue — when microglia spit out inflammation that alters levels of dopamine and serotonin.

Because these microglia-led inflammatory changes appear differently in the brain from one person to another, we give it a hundred different names: OCD, ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, memory loss.

This science also solves a decades-old mystery: the link between trauma and loss of brain synapses has long confounded the medical community. We’ve known for some time that adverse childhood experiences can alter important synaptic wiring in the brain — we can see this in brain scans of children and teens who’ve experience chronic unpredictable stress, whether that stress is due to parents fighting, emotional neglect, chronic humiliation, poverty, or community violence. Connections between important areas of the brain can become compromised, wanted and necessary brain circuits and synapses can be lost. Gray matter volume decreases. We also know that children facing ACEs have a higher rate of mental health disorders, mood disorders, and Alzheimer’s as the years tick by.”

While scientists are in the process of discovering and designing drugs that could potentially target glial cells, which is a complex undertaking, the best course of action for all of us is to take our mental and physical health more seriously. I know I want this army of glial cells to be fighting for my highest good and that means my practice of meditation, movement, intermittent fasting and diverse diet, sleep, constructive rest, vitamins and nutrients, connection with myself, others and nature, and anything else I can do to know and love myself more intimately is absolutely a top priority.

For many years now there has been research and a general understanding that our gut health is highly correlated to the amount of serotonin in the body, and therefore, a predictor of potential mental health issues. A fascinating statement in this article mentions: 

“…that one way to influence both the gut and microglia is through intermittent fasting and fasting-mimicking diets, which help increase the resistance of neurons to overpruning. With fasting, we may have some ability to influence microglia to turn from the dark side to the light again.”

And then my favorite nerve in the body is mentioned; the Vagus Nerve.

“Scientists are also working to try to reboot microglia by hacking the largest nerve in the body, the vagus nerve, which travels down from the brain stem and throughout our torso, sending its roots into our heart, lungs, and digestive system. The vagus nerve acts as a superconductor, sending bidirectional signals between body and brain. When the body is under emotional or physical stress it zips “fight flight freeze” warning messages up the vagus nerve to the brain, which puts microglia under duress too, leading, over time, to changes in everyday mood and behavior. Work to calm the vagus nerve — like Stephen Porges’s Safe and Sound Protocol — are now more crucial than ever. Meanwhile, human clinical trials are examining whether stimulating the vagus nerve can ameliorate symptoms in chronic pain, memory loss, depression, and autoimmune disease.”

So there you have it. These tiny inconspicuous cells are actually at the foundation of some major life altering experiences and very well may be the key to optimal mental and physical health. I find this knowledge so inspiring as it gives me a clear visual and purpose behind the often tedious tasks of sustaining my basic needs. I know sleep is important, I know eating well and listening to my body is important, I know, I know, I know…..and now when I take action for my overall health and longevity, despite any inconveniences, I will visualize these tiny and amazing microglial cells in my brain getting what they need so they can be the powerful conductors of strong health and well-being.

Quantum mindset

We are creatures of habit. We can quickly and easily get stuck in cyclical patterns of actions, cyclical loops of thought, and find ourselves in stagnancy, weighed down by our own perspective, locked in on a reality that is not THE ONE AND ONLY REALITY. There is nothing to shame or hate in this system, as it is serving to keep us alive! If you are reading this now, you are alive, and everything that is a habit for you right now is perceived as vital and efficient for your continued survival. Yet we are capable of more than simply surviving. When we get off the cyclical loop, we get access to thriving.

At times of low vibration, low consciousness, meandering the dark hallways of doom and gloom and Victim-mentality, I pause to remind myself that there is much more that is unseen than seen, and it is in the unseen that we get access to expansion. By moving inward, meeting sensation, noticing and observing ourselves, we start to gather insight. Rather than simply going along for the ride and avoiding discomfort while seeking pleasure, we can build our emotional maturity and begin living as adults in the NOW without our childhood leaking unconsciously all over the place.

At the quantum level, there is a fascinating reality beneath the level of reality we experience on a daily basis. Everything material (including our own body) is composed of atoms. And what are atoms? They are particles composed of protons and neutrons, which make up the Nucleus, and electrons which orbit the nucleus. And what is in between the nucleus and electrons? Space and energy.

If we blew up an atom to a size we can comprehend, the nucleus is equivalent to a speck of dirt on a baseball pitcher's mound, and the electrons would be orbiting the parking lot outside the field. In between, is a whole lot of space and energy.

Now, condense that atom back down to its microscopic size, and combine trillions of atoms to compose the human body (or anything else in the material world). What we see as tangible flesh, is actually less than 1% of what makes us who we are. We are more space and energy than we are a physical body. We are primarily subtle energy, potential, possibility, and mystical.

To take this a step further. In the "double slit experiment," quantum physicists have discovered that when we measure elementary particles they become "real" and known in the one location they have been measured. Yet, when we do not measure or know where it is in space and time, it remains in a wave-like form, everywhere simultaneously and no-where in reality. In fact, we cannot simultaneously know where a particle is and the direction or wave pattern it emulates. Subtle energy is everywhere and no-where at the same time. The “observer effect” is what creates a fixed knowing of where the energy manifests in the material world, yet without observing, the subtle energy behind the material remains in a flowing wave of possibilities. As Joe Dispenza says,

“Look for an electron, and it collapses from a wave of probabilities into an event called a particle, the physical manifestation of matter. You, as the Quantum Observer are commanding matter to conform to your intentions.”

The best analogy I have heard to understand this more clearly is to imagine the wave-pattern as a coin spinning; neither heads nor tails, yet simultaneously both. And when we observe or measure where the coin is, it comes to a full stop and makes a choice as to whether it will land on heads or tails.

The version of reality you are in now is a creation of your mind. The more stuck or stagnant you feel, the more indication that you are focused on the material and you are believing your thoughts as more real than they actually are.

While it is vital that you check your thoughts and ensure you are thinking in a way that creates space, energy and possibility, we also need to do the work to get the body on board with the change you seek. We have over-identified with the thinking mind. Of course the thinking mind serves a purpose, and it is vital and amazing. And, it equates to 5% of your power. Your subconscious is like a wild 6 ton elephant, and it cannot be controlled with words alone. You need to meet it, see it, embrace it, coax it, and retrain it. If your desires and goals in life are not in alignment with what you demonstrate and how you feel, you are in a battle of the 5% against the 95%.

Now, back to science, the next quantum experiment to consider is what would happen in a vacuum, if all air and energy was removed, what would remain? What is “nothing”? Through a series of experiments, creating vacuum environments, they discovered that elementary particles and their corresponding energy continues to appear and disappear, despite there being “nothing” in the container. This is where we start to expand what we know to be possible, as "nothing" takes on a new meaning.

At the qunatum level, "nothing" encompasses everything. Every possible manifestation lives within the nothing. And so we can say, we are everything and nothing.

And so I am reminded to slow down and create more space for quietude and contemplation. There is more going on beneath the surface of the material, beyond the world of distraction, within the subtle sensations of felt perception.

Feel your breath. Put your hands on your body and hold space for sensation to rise and fall. Yes we are tangible fleshy material objects in the world, AND we are waves of energy expanding and contracting on more planes of existence than what the eye can see. Step onto the road less traveled. Open your mind to meet your body. It’s time to befriend that wild elephant and work with it, not against it.

The more we can open our minds to the unknown, hold space for uncertainty, move like water, and tune in to the energy of expansion and contraction without needing a fixed point or rigid view of reality, the more we get access to this mystical side of who we are, where we came from and where we are going.

The mystery and beauty of the quantum brings me into a state of awe. My rigid thinking shifts from fixed on heads or tails, and begins to spin, expand and open up to the vast possibilities that I may not have considered before. I begin to question all of my beliefs and I notice the vibration of my thoughts, knowing that I don’t have to continue thinking, believing or behaving in any way that weighs me down.

I start to see myself, and everyone, as a complex matrix of tethers. When tethers become damaged, some people avoid the discomfort and simply compensate by relying on other tethers. Others’ may move right into what is damaged, get to know it, and repair it. Some tethers are trauma, and they ball up into a knot as our amazing nervous system creates layers of protection so the pain is not truly felt until your mental and emotional capacity are ready and capable of processing. Layers of tethers are folded on top to conceal the wound, yet if the core is wounded, of course that will manifest in various ways in the other layers. Some people feel so much, they have a heightened sensitivity, and spend their days anxious, worried and overstimulated. Others have learned to push their discomfort away, to avoid what feels unstable and to operate from their tough outer layer of protection. Some people land on rigid thinking and beliefs, and let those tethers cement into place. Naturally a deep fear of shaking that foundation would be enough to protect it at all costs. Some people feel supported with safe and strong tethers uniting and bonding them to their loved ones, and to themselves. Yet others feel if they fall there is absolutely nothing there to support them. A sense that a fall means a free fall into the abyss with a fatal impact of some kind at the bottom. Again, naturally, the fear of not being supported is enough to shut down emotion or push people away in order to avoid the trauma of being disappointed or rejected. We all have patterns to uncover in our survival system. And when we meet them with love and curiosity, the unfolding and unraveling takes us on a journey towards thriving.

Momentum is difficult to start, and difficult to stop once it has started. Imagine these tethers, coalescing, unfolding, knotting up or untying. Whatever momentum you are in now, know that you can change the direction of your life, your mind and your body. It starts with one tether, one choice. An intimate look at one piece of your complex matrix that is accessible and realistic for you to work with. That one tether leads you to another, and then another, and then a whole layer reveals itself. Opportunity after opportunity to meet your un-integrated emotions and acknowledge the power this wound had on your personality and beliefs. You will recognize how your pattern of avoidance, numbing, craving, etc. are the effects of the deeper root cause; the emotional wound that needs love and attention to meld back into your wholeness.

One tether at a time. Before you know it, your perception of reality will completely change. The way is found in your conscious BREATH, and to move THROUGH we must go IN. And to go IN, you must meet yourself with AWE. You are unique and special, as we all are. And I want to live in a world where everyone knows their innate power, their immense contribution, and their irreplaceable creativity. Join me in that world. Do the work.

What it means to "hold space"...

Holding space for someone is an important part of my regular vernacular. It guides me into generous listening, to acknowledging the person I am listening to as wise, capable and in no way in need of saving. It is a process of honoring the other, allowing them to ask for what they need, and to simply receive a loving ear and heart to listen as they work through or arise to their own insights.

I say this phrase often, and my husband occasionally teases me by using the phrase himself, with a goofy smile on his face. Yet, I know he gets it. And I know not everyone understands this concept whatsoever. I stumbled across a beautiful explanation of this skill-set, and feel compelled to share with all of you.

on instagram, @risingwoman

“Holding space requires us to step fully into Being when everything inside of us tell us we should be Doing.

Space holding doesn’t mean taking responsibility for the internal world of another.

It’s never our job to fix another person’s feelings, or to expect someone else can fix ours.

Holding space isn’t saying all the right things…it isn’t doing much of anything really.

Holding space is the art of “being with” someone’s pain and allowing them to have their experience without making it about ourselves.

Holding space is the quiet, powerful force of present loving connection.

Holding space is an “I Love you and I’m not going anywhere” while you process this emotion.

Holding space is patience and eye-contact when someone is scared or overwhelmed by their own feelings.

Presence without judgement, a hug, non-reactivity, learning not to take things personally or trying to save someone from their feelings are all profound acts of space holding.

Our pain and our grief deserve equal seats at the table as our sparkle and our joy.

Blocks only occur when we try turning off the tap. And as we learn to let our feelings in, we learn to let them go just as freely.

Living by a “good vibes or goodbye” philosophy is dangerously shallow.

In a culture where we shame negative feelings and pedestal the light, we risk isolating ourselves from others when we really need love and support.

Relationships are deepened through vulnerability and the courage to let another in when you’re hurting.

Closeness comes from seeing someone in their darkest moments and reminding them they’re loved exactly as they are” - Sheleana Aiyana @risingwoman

While this is massively transformative for all relationships, this includes the relationship with self! I invite you to get curious and be in the practice of holding space for yourself. Notice what comes up for you. Anything you desire in your relationships with others, must begin with the authentic relationship with yourself.

xo

If it's hysterical, it's historical

I am hosting a 6 week Yoga Nidra series starting at the end of February (Monday or Thursday evening group call, 7-8pm, starting February 24).

An opportunity to connect online for one hour per week, move through a simple workbook, and practice this art of relaxation, retraining, and integration. Mental health struggles and afflictions are continually increasing, and it has become clear that healing and thriving is achieved in the realm of the emotional inner work, and is not achieved through surgery or simply talking it through.

"Positive and negative experiences register a memory in cell tissue as well as in the energy field. As neurobiologist Dr. Candace Pert has proven, neuropeptides--the chemicals triggered by emotions--are thoughts converted into matter. Our emotions reside physically in our bodies and interact with our cells and tissues. If a person is able to sense intuitively that he or she is losing  energy because of a stressful situation--and then acts to correct that loss of energy--then the likelihood of that stress developing into a physical crisis is reduced, if not eliminated completely.... my indicator of an accurate intuition is a lack of emotion" - Carolyn Myss

This Yoga Nidra series is an opportunity to get to know each layer of the practice intimately, so that you can understand the process, do simple and practical practices of inquiry, and get a deeper and more transformative result each time you lay back to receive your unique medicine. We live in a hustle culture, overstimulated, and a constant run, hide and avoid the darker or heavier aspects of being alive. Yet it is through opening up, embracing our complexity, and learning how to meet our discomfort with love so that we can re-integrate the past traumas into our wholeness.

Just as sound arises, moves and releases, so too can the sensation of charged emotions. Your endocrine  system reacts before your intellect or conscious thought (bottom-up processing). It regulates your  learning and growth (mind and body), metabolism, digestion, elimination, menstruation, and sleep. We have a constant internal orchestra of affect, majority being subconscious while some can be  in the conscious field - in the form of: arousal or calm, and pleasure or aversion.

Based on history and your current environment, affect leads to sensation, which is felt, first subconsciously, and second, consciously. This is followed by emotional reactions that often lead  to supposing meaning into our subjective reality. The sequence of events follows prediction and  prediction-error more so than simple reaction to objective stimuli. I.e. We see what we believe and expect. We don't see with our eyes, we perceive with our mind.

Emotion leads to charged memories and a map of survival and experience is created to support the  continued navigation through life. We literally are the architects of our own reality. Our fight or  flight system is triggered on average 50-300x per day (70% of waking day), and the resulting  neurochemical soup your mind steeps in all day naturally has a huge effect on energy, mood,  perspective, and ability to adapt, learn and grow.

The quality of hormones, glandular secretions, or inner pharmacy, shifts profoundly through  relaxation. A retraining process for your mind and body to find the healthy balance between fight  or flight, and rest & digest. We need both, just as we need the inhale and the exhale.

Join me to learn and grow as you open up to the art of slowing down to speed up.

More details here for the 6 week series

If you would like to register, please email me at marinmccue@gmail.com

Ring in the New Year

I like to pretend I am Superwoman. The amount I can get done in a day and the amount of projects and collaborations I can take on, makes me feel unstoppable, unshakable, immovable. And then, I slow down for some R&R and I am hit with exhaustion. Rather than pulling to the side of the road for a breather, my whole engine shuts down and rewires and suddenly I am left to figure out how to operate a new vehicle, with new insights, rules and connections. I have gotten so much better at listening to the whispers to slow down before they become screams, yet this time of year - with minimal sunlight and long nights - I just feel the need to spend more time in solitude, quiet contemplation and self-inquiry. I feel a death happening, of everything I am letting go of, releasing, and stepping out of - and that requires some grieving, healing and awkward practicing as I step into what I desire more of.

While I am definitely coming out of the fog of my latest deeply nourishing slow down, I am noticing a desire to create something epic for New Years Eve/Day for others to participate in and get their momentum going for the year ahead. While I do have an event at Yoga Nova on New Years Day (Yin, Yoga Nidra & Sound Healing), I find myself comparing my offerings to other health and wellness brands and I am lacking the New Years program to support others in getting their groove going for the year ahead.

Yet, I am also stepping into this year with some insights and desires that feel like uncharted territory for me, which is encompassed by the word GENTLE. And when I sit with the energy of Gentle, scrambling to create and launch something for NYE doesn’t feel like alignment. I have made a business by being creative and often that creativity is impulsive and comes from a flow of energy that feels simultaneously pleasurable and somewhat forced. Learning how to embody GENTLE is so much harder for me than I thought it would be. I have found myself falling into hypoarousal more often in the past couple of weeks, partly because I have consciously created space for NOTHING (which feels oh so good) and because I have built a habit of avoiding lots of space in my schedule because I do “busy” a lot easier than I can do “stillness and gentle.” Finding the balance is going to be my key to success this year, and to say that it has been a bumpy start to this new practice is an understatement.

So what would be the gentle approach to meeting this desire to create and facilitate a New Years Eve program or initiative? My soul lights up when I am in creativity and my heart sings when I perceive my work as impacting others in a positive way. While I gift myself the space to continue integrating my own personal lessons and desires from 2019 leading into 2020, I am opening up the possibility that I will create something to share within the first few days of the New Year, and in the meantime, I have gone through my video history on my youtube channel and pulled from the archives to share something that may be exactly what you need.

How to Create/Land on Your Word of the Year

This is a recording of a zoom call I hosted for my friend Lucy Dunne’s personal training group last January. I share my journey with Word of the Year starting back in 2013 and then guide you through a series of questions and exercises to support landing on your own word.

Enjoy and Happy New Year xoxo

Low Cost and Karma Yoga in YYC *updated

Hey everyone,

A few years ago I posted on my blog a schedule of low cost yoga in our beautiful city. Who knew that would be the most popular page on my website?? So, following the energy of what is being asked for, here is an updated version for you to utilize and share.

*Always check websites to ensure class is being offered before you show up

MONDAY

12:10pm - 12:55 PM $10 drop in. Yin - Warm - YOGA NOVA

6:15 - 7:15pm Hatha Flow. $10 drop in, pre-registration required - LifeSongYoga Studio in Edgemont NW.

7:00pm Critical Alignment Yoga, $10 drop in - Back to Mobility

TUESDAY

6:30 AM – 07:20 AM $10 Rise & Shine Flow - LIV yoga + wellness

12:10pm-12:55 Sound Healing Meditation, $10 - Yoga Nova

6:30-7:45pm By donation. Gentle flow style. - Penbrooke Meadows Community Association

WEDNESDAY

12:10 PM – 12:55 PM, $10 - The Restoration - Yoga Nova

THURSDAY

6:30 AM – 07:20 AM $10 Rise & Shine Flow - Liv yoga + wellness

12:10pm-12:55 Yoga Nidra, $10 - Yoga Nova

6:30-7:45pm By donation. Gentle flow style. - Penbrooke Meadows Community Association

FRIDAY

12:10pm-12:55 Slow Flow - Warm Hatha Vinyasa, $10 - Yoga Nova

6:15pm- $5 Funky Flow - Yogadotcalm

640pm MARDA & KENSINGTON, 7pm AVDA - $10 drop ins for charity at all studios - YYC CYCLE

5:00pm - $5 Flow - Yogadown Studios & Boutique

5:45-7pm - $5 Yoga Groove at Yoga Santosha in Mission

8:00 - 9:00 pm, Hot Yoga, $5-10 for charity - Metta Yoga

SATURDAY

9:30 AM – 10:30 AM, $10 Hips + Shoulders — Liv yoga + wellness

10:45 AM – 11:45 AM, $10 Flow - Liv yoga + wellness

12:00 PM – 01:15 PM, $10 Hatha - Liv yoga + wellness

1:30pm - 2:45pm, $5 - Metta Yoga Calgary

2-3:15pm Karma Yoga at Yoga Santosha (Mission & Kensington locations). 

4:15pm- Karma/donation class - Yogadotcalm

SUNDAY

10:00 AM – 11:00 AM, $10 Core + Back - Liv yoga + wellness

*In the spring/summer/fall (May-October), 10am - 11am, pay what you can - Mahogany Outdoor Yoga

*In the spring/summer/fall (May-October), 1:00 - 2:00pm, pay what you can in Stanley Park - Calgary Outdoor Yoga

*Winter (November-April), 1-2pm, pay what you can - Munro Yoga

Check out this website for more details… www.outdooryoga.ca

11:15 AM – 12:15 PM, $10 Yang/Yin - Liv yoga + wellness

12:30 PM – 01:30 PM, $10 Flow - Liv yoga + wellness

4:00 - 5:30pm, $7 dropin, Yin - Passage Studios.

5:00 - 6:15pm: $5 dropin, - www.theyogastudiocalgary.com

6:30pm - 7:45pm: $5 dropin, - www.theyogastudiocalgary.com

*All classes at Holistic Institute of Health & Fertility are $10

*Special Note: Anyone with Cancer or a caregiver for someone with cancer, classes at Wellspring are free for them. They just need to become a member (also free). The Yoga Thrive program offers a very reduced investment for classes, also for those with cancer/caregivers 12 weeks for $100.

*HotShop and both Yoga Santosha locations offer several free and $5 drop-ins through the week. Check them out!

You have another class to add to this list??? Send me a message with details and I will update. xoxo

The unfolding continues.....reflections and learnings

This post has been burning inside of me and I am so ready to sit and allow this to flow through and out of me. December is the month that I love to be in deep reflection as I tie up the loose ends of the year, land on the deep lessons I needed to learn, and create space for the possibility and growth of the year ahead. While this is obviously a public forum and I am going to eventually hit SAVE & PUBLISH, this post is truly for me. And the beauty in that is that when I am pure in my intentions and share openly and honestly, we all benefit. So while this is for me, it is definitely for YOU too.

I have been reflecting on my word of the year - Eunoia - and how that has supported and guided me in big and small ways this year. Choosing a WORD OF THE YEAR has been one of my personal favorite traditions for the past 8 years. To spend a full year with a rooted intention is a powerful way to move from practice to mastery; from conscious DOING to subconscious BEING.

It was a few years ago now that my word of the year shifted from the energy of Fire, Action and Power, towards the softer side of balance. I recognized, after working with BOLD, FEARLESS, and MOMENTUM, that I am a master at DOING. When I set my sights on something, I make it happen. I do not struggle with finding the FIRE I need to pursue what I desire. FIRE is my superpower.

Well, what serves you at one point in life, and maybe even saved your life, becomes your self-made prison later on if you have not released and evolved into a new way of being and doing.

Two years ago, my word of the year was UNFOLD and TRUST. I had become very clear on my need to learn the art of slowing down. I knew, cognitively, that slowing down, meditating and relaxing was important, but I had not experienced pleasure in it and found that slowing down often sent me into a spiral of disembodiment and depression. So naturally, I avoided slowing down because I simply didn’t understand how to do it in a constructive and conscious way.

2017 and 2018 sent me on a search for teachers and experiences that could help me learn to love and understand the art of slowing down. I made my way into Yin trainings, meditation trainings and experiences, yoga life coaching training, myofascial yoga teacher training, yoga nidra training, research into pleasure, the nervous system, and breathwork experiences. Look at me trying so hard to slow down!

The insights, metaphors and perspectives I was gifted in these trainings and experiences were substantial. Meanwhile, I wrote and published a book and kept adding classes to my drop-in teaching schedule. I was very mindful to bookend my day with earth, air and flow, yet my days were all FIRE/effort/busy!

The first sign of change in this arena began to creep in when my morning and evening routine began to lengthen. I was going to bed earlier and waking up earlier simply so I could have the ample space in the morning to meditate, breathe, move, read and write. I craved this time for myself, and could feel tethers of attachment form as my ongoing healing and development took on the energy of efficiency and FIRE, as that way of being was so familiar and comfortable for me.

2019 was the first time that my WORD OF THE YEAR was gifted to me. My friend Elly gave me a gift for Christmas, a necklace with the word EUNOIA inscribed into the gold pendent dangling from a gold chain. Along with it was a definition which read: “beautiful thinking that flows from a balanced, healthy and positive mind.” Upon further inquiry, I also discovered that it is a rarely used medical term referring to a state of normal mental health. BINGO! To develop and strengthen my eunoia, I knew I needed to take care of my basic needs, continue the practice of retraining my nervous system and expand my ability to be present. From this, my business expanded into the realm of Mental Health Strength Training.

Once again, my deliberation and execution of Eunoia was a methodical and intentional practice. More research. More training. More time in my morning and evening routines to engage in the repetition needed to create the state I desire.

It was this year that I started to notice a disconnect. I am working so hard to find peace! I know how to heal and I am so inspired to teach and share, yet the fire and intensity that I used to forge my own healing path is not the same energy I need to be the support for others. I found myself angry with people I love because they weren’t doing as I do. I was frustrated with family members who were struggling because I wanted them to be more vulnerable and heal the way I did! At the time, this confused me. How is it that I am practicing peace and love, yet this anger and frustration can take over and feel so strong. What am I doing wrong? Back to the research!

All of that is simply to give context for what has arrived in these last three months of 2019….

Myofascial Yoga - Christine Wushke held a weekend training focused on Pelvic Health. I know several people who struggle with prolapse of various kinds, chronic pain in the pelvic region, degeneration of the hip bones, sexual abuse that has left lack of sensation or fear of pleasure, and on top of that, I have experienced occasional low back pain that seemed to flare up every 6 - 12 months. So, I was curious to learn and implement what I learn. We explored the anatomy of the pelvis, where stress and tension often lands, how we make it worse without even realizing that’s what we are doing, how to properly engage the core muscles, and how to move and engage the muscles of the pelvis region to create balance in strength and relaxation. Being open and connected to the pelvis area is a pleasurable experience and one that is relatively new for me. Having an eating disorder for so many years, I did not have love for my belly or lower body in general. To be connected, fascinated and curious to explore and find true alignment has become one of my deep desires, and what I often refer to as one of the many rabbit holes I get enthralled by.

My own pelvis misalignment became very obvious in this weekend workshop, as we all had a turn assessing each other’s alignment in various positions. Such a valuable practice as a teacher. I was empowered to know more about my body and what I can do to release the stuck tension and practice neuro-muscular retraining so I can move in a more aligned and healthy way.

In true Marin-fashion, I began the “healing and realigning” process in the way I know how: checklist, discipline, force, and effort. And, rather than release something else to create space for this deliberate re-patterning, I simply added it in, in between classes, coffee dates, writing sessions, and trainings. I think it is worth mentioning that while I was doing all of this, I truly did not see the fire and effort as an imbalance. I was way more balanced, present and mindful than ever before, and overall, extremely healthy and successful. It’s not until looking back that I can see what I was so obvious to many others who know me.

Three weeks ago, I was feeling more aligned and embodied than ever. I was moving differently, my pelvis felt great, and after teaching a yoga class, I spent a few minutes to do some of my deliberate healing practice. I moved into a deep backbend, deeper than I ever have before. And, it felt AMAZING! I was in awe of the progress I had made in only a few weeks. One deep back bend turned into 5. With a smile on my face, I rolled up my mat and off I went. Two and a half days later, my body recognized that I was not slowing down and had no intention to, and so, my low back seized and I was forced into slowing down. In fact, I had to clear my schedule for the day and get several classes subbed for the following few days so that I could lay on my back with very minimal movement.

What I realized while laying on my back for a full day was how magical and amazing the human body truly is. I wasn’t mad, frustrated or in fear. I was so curious and open to what this experience was teaching me. I saw that those deep backbends were not the problem. The problem arose when I did not honor the equal importance of slowing down, integrating and relaxing after a clear push outside my familiar range of motion (or comfort zone). What a gift that was to receive. A true gift in that I already cognitively knew this balance was important, but until I experienced it in my body, I didn’t fully get it. Now, I do.

I got the support I needed to release the stuck tension in my low back, and allowed myself to steep in slowing down. Within a few days, my back was fine, great in fact. But this time, I stayed with the lesson learned and began to look at my schedule, at my self-imposed expectations, and how I had allowed physical movement, research, learning and creating to become a distraction from what I had been pursuing…the art of slowing down.

This is when the story starts to pick up….two Friday’s ago (November 22), I was laying on my back at home and I was meeting the sensations in my low back. I was in the practice of being with the sensations, not trying to fix, feed or fight, not labeling as good or bad, just being with. Suddenly, a memory surfaced. I recalled being 14 years old at an all boy’s basketball camp. My older brother, his best friend, and my cousin were leading the camp. At one point, I fell hard onto my tailbone. HARD! I jumped up and ran out of the gym in tears. It was so painful. My cousin, being the late adolescent that he was, began to make fun of me. He drew attention to me and my injury in a way that brought me into shame, embarrassment, and anger, all mixed in with the intense pain in my tailbone.

It dawned on me suddenly, laying on my back at home, that may have been the moment that this misalignment occurred. And, because I was already struggling with mental health and an eating disorder at that time, the tension and adhesion’s simply mixed in with the matrix of wounds in that area. I finally could see (and feel) that healing truly is an unwinding and an untethering to the stories and emotions that get lodged into the body.

My heart burst open and I was overcome with joy, love and awe. The next day, Saturday, I went to a Sound Healing session that was hosted by my friend Saleste. Trying to describe this experience will barely do it justice. Laying on my back being engulfed by the sounds of crystal bowls and gongs, I moved into complete effortless-ness. No fear of the darkness and no expectation on the light. I found myself moving and breathing intuitively, not a contrived following of others or past habits. I felt flow. I felt the vibrations of the sound move through me unhindered and unobstructed by my own effort or desire. I was curious and expansive, and peaceful.

Two days later, I stepped into an immersive Yoga Nidra training with Tanis Fishman and the School of Sankalpa. This was one year after my first Yoga Nidra training and I was so excited to dive deeper into the practice and fine-tune my own writing and delivery of this life changing practice.

What became clear in this training is that how you show up as a teacher is how you show up in your life. And, really, how you show up anywhere is how you show up everywhere. It’s all connected.

Yet, to be in a loving space with mindful and wise council, I was able to be seen and challenged to let go of the effort and control that I did not see as my self-made prison. It was an opportunity to step into effortlessness and trust. I do not need to hide behind the research, hide behind all that I KNOW, hide behind exertion and force, and I certainly do not need to hold this expectation of healing for others. As the saying goes, the fish cannot see that it is in a fishbowl. The lessons we need to learn are right in front of us, yet it often takes the loving reflection of another for us to truly see what is there. I see it now. I see the way I have hidden my fear and my seeking for approval behind creating and effort. I see my good intentions to support others and teach them how to heal is lost in the noise of trying to do and give too much all at once. And I see the vital step of ensuring I am honoring the balance within me of Teacher and Student. I see it. And the best part, this is a practice of being, of letting go, of effortlessless, and I was so ready to receive that insight.

Now what? To honor this learning and truly integrate it into my being, I have created space in my schedule. And while I do still love to learn, read and create, what has shifted is my delivery and my comfort in stillness and silence. I am letting go of the reigns that I have been holding onto so tightly. Healing and overcoming, for me, needed tight restraints and a template to follow. And now, as I step fully into I AM HEALED, that comes with the knowing that a new skill set is appropriate. I feel as though I have shed a layer of skin that was ready to peel off but was stuck in a few places. A death and rebirth. I am so excited to see how this evolution continues, and, I am going to enjoy who and where I am.

My word of the year for 2020…….I await for the word to choose me, as I am done forcing and curating, I am ready to be the conduit.

xoxo

The Vagus Nerve and Polyvagal Theory

I can see a clear timeline in my life: before I knew and practiced with the Vagus Nerve in mind, and after!

While I have been on a decade long journey to absorb, digest and practice new ways of thinking, being, moving and relating, it is the Vagus Nerve that tied that journey together with a bow. I finally had a physiological explanation for what I had experienced for many years.

I know I am not alone in my struggle with depression, anxiety and overwhelm. I spent most of my teenage and early adolescent years on an emotional roller coaster that would inevitably leave me in a state of shutdown that I felt completely victim to. I felt like a victim a lot actually. I didn’t understand why I would go from a goal-driven and hard working social person into suddenly a shell of who I am, saying things like “I don’t care” and “I am lazy” and then spend days or weeks in a state of complete darkness and lethargy. I felt like I had no control over my own mind and body.

In a previous post I detailed The Window of Tolerance, and how getting language for that shutdown as Hypoarousal was a gamechanger for me! Suddenly I didn’t feel broken, and I had clear actionable steps I could practice daily to down-regulate when in Hyperarousal, and up-regulate when in Hypoarousal.

The Vagus Nerve takes us to the next level of understanding the beauty of this human body.

We have 12 cranial nerves. The first nerve is anchored at the backs of the eyes, numbered in order of sequence, we find the 10th cranial nerve (Vagus Nerve) at the base of the skull, and it connects the brainstem to the body.

The Autonomic Nervous System has one primary function: to ensure the survival of our physical body. The Nervous System is composed of the brain, the brainstem, the cranial nerves, the spinal cord, the spinal nerves, and the enteric nerves. The Nervous System is functionally an upside triangle, the brainstem (and all basic autonomic functioning) being the point at the bottom, and our higher cortical functions are the long base of possibility at the top. The Vagus Nerve is a portal of communication sending stimuli from throughout the body, up to the brainstem, and then it gets spread and diversified to higher levels of brain functioning.

So, what do you need to know about this amazing nerve also known as “the wanderer”…

It has two main branches (down the left and right side), starting at the brain-stem, it wanders down the outside of the throat, through the lungs, heart, diaphragm, stomach, through the small intestines and it lands in the colon. It also has many periphery branches that spread out throughout the body, picking up on the frequency of danger versus safety.

It is heavily involved in the body's ability to calm down after the nervous system has been activated (aka the parasympathetic nervous system), which is our 'rest and digest,' 'stay and play,' 'feed and breed,' and 'restore and repair' abilities.

The Vagus Nerve impacts many facets of the mind and body...

1) Receives sensory input from throat, tongue, heart, lungs and abdomen to communicate “safety” signals to the rest of the body. Fun fact: the tongue actually becomes the pericardium, which wraps around the heart, and connects with the diaphragm.

2) Provides motor function/movement to muscles in neck for swallowing and speech

3) Heavily involved in function and health of the eyes

4) Responsible for (healthy) function of digestive tract, respiration and heart rate. And sends anti-inflammatory signals (healing frequency)

5) Gateway or locked door to higher states of consciousness (Gamma, Alpha and Theta)

6) Overactive Vagus Nerve activity leads to dorsal dive/loss of consciousness, depression/exhaustion, organ damage, inability for heart to pump blood around body (inability to heal)

The PolyVagal Thoery

Stephen Porges is known for his work in bringing the polyvagal theory to life. A brilliant way to understand the stress response and how our constant seeking for danger/safety influences our daily lives.

There are three main states we function within…

1. The Ventral Vagus (myelinated and frontal branch), interfaces with the Parasympathetic Nervous System, or in other words, serves as the "brakes" when in a stress response. This state is known as SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT (or the Window of Tolerance), as we are able to connect, laugh, grow, heal, learn, integrate, problem solve and be in the present moment or flow. This is the optimal state we want to be spending more and more time in.

The ventral vagus nerve controls down-regulation for the heart, lungs and digestive tract (guiding back down into the Window of Tolerance). Basically, it's main job is to send signals of safety when there has been a stress response. When we have a strong and healthy ventral vagus nerve we seek and initiate social contact.

2. The first line of defense when we interpret danger signals, is our fight or flight response which urges us to MOBILIZE! Get safety now. Fight or run your way to safety! This reaction sends an influx of energy to our limbs, major joints of the hips and shoulders, and jaw as we prepare for battle or a sprint from the scene. This is our Hyperarousal state. The priority of getting safety diverts all energy away from healing, growing, digesting, absorbing nutrients, or connecting with others. This is a necessary and vital part of survival, but you can see why this is not a state we want to be in for long.

3. The second line of defense takes over when our body stays in the stress response. In a real life scenario, this would be someone who is trapped, unable to flee or fight their way to safety. This is the SHUTDOWN response.

The Dorsal Vagus (non-myelinated and wanders down backside of body), when healthy and functional, toggles back and forth between arousal and relaxation (approximately 5x per second). 

When the sympathetic system is too aroused (aka stuck in hyperarousal), the dorsal vagus nerve shuts down the entire system and we go into freeze/shutdown (or hypoarousal). This is most common in trauma, in shame, learned helplessness, victim-hood, and depression.

Remaining chronically in a dorsal vagal state when there is no longer any threat or danger robs us of our clarity, productivity, and joy of living until we can get back into a state that opens us back up to social engagement. 

In our culture, we have become preoccupied with problems stemming from stress. Unfortunately, we have remained largely unaware that another danger to our health arises from the widespread condition of chronic activation of the Dorsal Vagus circuit.

An epidemic of people who walk around like "zombies," disconnected from their body (feelings and affect), and feeding into a negative feedback loop that takes them further and further away from health and optimization.

The Vagus Nerve must function properly in order for us to make healthy decisions, feel good emotionally, and interact positively with family, friends and others.

WHAT CAN I DO NOW to impact and strengthen my Vagus Nerve??

• Slow down your Exhale, lengthen it to be a few seconds longer than the inhale

• Create deep tones with humming or chanting (Humming Bee)

• Gentle throat massage (think soothing and nourishing touch)

• Gentle massage of the ears

• Stick out your tongue and make an audible exhale sounds (Lion’s Breath)

• Breath of Fire or double exhale

• Belly Breathing (feel your whole torso expand with your inhale)

• Cat/Cow movements

• Hypopressive Breathing (pelvic floor lifts with inhale)

• Mindful Eating (Connect with your breath and smell your food before ingesting. Ensure your body knows it is safe and ready to eat)

For more information, support and practice, the 4 Pillars of Stress Resiliency 8 week program is for YOU! A comprehensive self-lead journey to learn and implement simple tools of knowledge and practice to retrain your Nervous System! Reach out with questions or for more details.

xox

Marin

You made it this far?? Here is a video I made to describe the Vagus Nerve. The more you learn about it, the more you will understand its power!

HAPPINESS: What’s it mean to live a happy life?

Special thanks to conscioused.org for this awesome blog post! I am sharing it here because this post kept me captivated and had me giggling. For the full experience - with fun pictures - head to their website to check it out!

https://conscioused.org/wiki/happiness/

by Ari Yeganeh

We live in a happy-obsessed society, constantly bombarded with happy smiling faces on TV or billboard ads telling us their version of happiness.

Even worse than this, we see our own friends on social media posting photos of their ridiculously happy lives; but never sharing any raw feelings of what’s really going on in their lives.

It is an unspoken law that we all want to be happy but the reality is that most of us have not thought about what happiness means for *ourselves*.

I used to think if only I had the right kind of job, the right group of friends and the right partner, then I would be happy. I worked so hard chasing these goals. I saw happiness like reaching the peak of a mountain…

All I had to do was work really hard, achieve all my goals and then I’ll be happy.

And that’s exactly what I did. I worked really hard and got to the top of the mountain. But at the top, I didn’t find what I was looking for…

What I actually found at the top of the mountain was disappointment. I had worked so hard to conquer my goals and the realisation that I still wasn’t happy made me even more unhappy. But little did I know it, I had no idea what happiness was.

WHAT ON EARTH IS HAPPINESS?

There are probably as many definitions of happiness as there humans on the planet but broadly speaking, modern psychology categorizes happiness in two parts:

1) HAPPINESS AS AN EMOTION

Experiencing positive emotions like joy, pleasure and excitement
We are all familiar with this type of happiness – good food, great sex, new clothes, walks on the beach, hot oil massages and puppies, lots of puppies. This is what’s constantly advertised to us and what we think of when we see our happy smiling friends on Facebook.

2) HAPPINESS AS LIFE SATISFACTION

Living with a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment with life
We are less familiar with this type of happiness as it is not as straightforward as getting a massage or hugging a warm puppy. Rather it involves a deliberate process of self-discovery and cultivating the right mental attitudes to live a happy life despite the ups and downs of everyday emotions.

Let’s explore these…

1) HAPPINESS AS AN EMOTION

CHASING POSITIVE EMOTIONS

Imagine if there was a machine you could plug yourself into that made you feel pleasure and joy 100% of the time. Better yet, you wouldn’t know you were plugged in so you would have no feelings of guilt. Would you plug in or stay in your current life?

(image credit: waitbutwhy.com/table/the-experience-machine)

The answer you give this question can reveal a lot about how you feel about happiness as an emotion.

If you asked me this question shortly after I had finished climbing my mountain of happiness, I would have almost certainly said yes. This is because I saw happiness only as an emotion that I had to feel on a regular basis. If I was not experiencing emotional happiness in the form of pleasure or joy regularly, my conclusion was that I’m not happy and that something is wrong.

This is why I chased goal after goal, mountain after mountain pursuing the good feelings a new job or new travel destination gave me. But the good feelings didn’t last. Before long, the emotions of joy and excitement would dissipate and I was back to where I started looking at an even bigger mountain to experience more joy in my life.

This is a common path to happiness for many people. “If only I have *fill in the blank*, then I’ll be happy”.

The obvious problem with this approach is what psychologists call hedonic adaptation – the idea that no matter how good something makes us feel, “most of the time we drift back to where we started, emotionally-speaking. One often-cited study famously showed that despite their initial euphoria, lottery winners were no happier than non-winners eighteen months later. The same tendency to return to “baseline” has been shown to occur after marriage, voluntary job changes, and promotions—the kinds of things we usually expect to change our happiness and well-being for the better in a permanent way.” Heidi Grant Halvorson Ph.D.

This is not to say we shouldn’t enjoy the pleasures of life, we absolutely should celebrate getting that new job and we should cherish every moment of the honey-moon period of a new relationship. However, we should be conscious that experiencing these short term emotional highs does not equate to long term happiness.

RUNNING AWAY FROM NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

Another unfortunate consequence of seeing happiness only as a positive emotional state is that we ignore or suppress any other emotions that don’t make us feel good. We all want to feel joy and avoid pain, this is normal. What’s not normal and is rather unhealthy is persistently avoiding or suppressing difficult or negative emotions.

The reality of life is that we all experience difficult emotions and circumstances. People get sick, we lose our jobs, relationships fall apart, things break, shit happens.
Put more elegantly by Murphy’s law “whatever can go wrong, will go wrong”
In his book, The Happiness Trap, Russ Harris writes:

“The more we try to avoid the basic reality that all human life involves pain, the more we are likely to struggle with that pain when it arises, thereby creating even more suffering.” – Russ Harriss

Similarly, in Buddhism it is believed that “life is full of suffering” and that our suffering is caused by our “attachments” – ideals we hold in our minds about how life ought to be. And one of the biggest attachments we have is the desire to feel happy all the time. This unhealthy desire to feel happy all the time ironically leads to suffering and unhappiness in the face of inevitable adversity and Murphy’s law. We feel unhappy because we feel we shouldn’t feel unhappy.

In my own pursuit of happiness, I found the more I chased happy feelings, the more i neglected dealing with the difficult or negative emotions in my life. But these difficult feelings were not going away and only started to accumulate…

Even worse than suppressing these emotions was judging myself for having these unwanted emotions. “Why am I feeling down? I should be happy right now”.

But rather than judging or suppressing difficult or negative emotions, what helped me immensely was just accepting my emotions and letting go of my expectations that I need to feel happy all the time. Rather than turning a blind eye to my box of unwanted emotions, I sat down, opened the box and listened to what each emotion had to say.

And the more I started to accept these neglected emotions, the more at peace I felt with myself and the less pressure I felt to feel happy; which paradoxically made feeling happy much easier.

Whilst none of us want to experience sadness, it is a fact of life that we will. Accepting sadness or difficult emotions is not the same as wallowing and indulging in them. Rather it’s learning to recognise that it’s healthy to experience the full range of emotions as a human being. And that these emotions don’t have power over us. We can observe emotions but we are not our emotions. And in due time, every emotion will come and go. No state of mind is permanent. Clinging on to positive or negative emotions is a fool’s game.

Note: Experiencing negative emotions is part of life, however if you are experiencing emotions like sadness, hopelessness or anxiety persistently on a regular basis, we recommend you reach out and seek appropriate help to better understand the root cause of your emotions.

2) HAPPINESS AS LIFE SATISFACTION

Happiness as an emotion is easy enough to grasp. We are taught from kindergarten:
“if you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands”

What’s more difficult to understand and express is:
“if you’re satisfied, content and grateful for your life and you know it, clap your hands”

It’s difficult because life satisfaction is determined almost entirely by the contents of our minds with no visible indicators on the outside world. It’s possible to be a raging success on the surface and feel completely dissatisfied with life, but it’s also possible to have nothing in the material world and be completely satisfied with life.

Philosophers, psychologists, spiritual gurus and that uncle at every dinner party have all their views on what gives us satisfaction in life but the reality is that life satisfaction is a cake you need to bake yourself. There is no cake out there with the perfect list of ingredients that is going to satisfy everyone’s taste buds. You need to go on your own self-discovery journey to find what brings you to satisfaction and contentment.

I found my list of ingredients through a combination of reading books (see resource section at the end of this article), reflecting for long periods of time in silence, traveling and speaking to wide range of people from teenage backpackers to ninety year old monks about what gives them satisfaction in life. Whilst no list can ever capture every aspect of life satisfaction, below are some of the most powerful ingredients that have transformed my satisfaction with life and may help you on your journey:

INGREDIENT #1 – MEANING

“The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.” – Carl Jung

A lack of meaning in life can bring great dissatisfaction, as I’ve personally experienced. For a lot of my 20’s I struggled with a deep hollowing feeling of meaninglessness. On the surface I would keep myself busy with chasing after goals and achievements but deep down I had a sense that something was always missing. There was no meaning, no clear sense of purpose in my life. I spent years working in large companies climbing the corporate ladder. But I never got any sense of purpose from what I was doing. I kept thinking to myself, there has to be more in life than building colorful spreadsheets and powerpoint slides.

This is not an uncommon scenario in our society, especially in the younger generations: doing a job that pays the bills but provides little to no sense of meaning or purpose (for a deep dive into this: read our comprehensive post on purpose here).

For me personally, I chose to quit my job in corporate and take time off to reflect on what I found meaningful. After a year of traveling and reflecting, this journey lead me to what I’m working on now: co-founding conscioused.org, an open source, self-organised alternative to university. (more on this here: conscioused.org/about)

But deriving a sense of meaning doesn’t just come from work. We find meaning in relationships with loved ones, through parenthood, spirituality, contributing to others or simply through the fact that we are alive. Ultimately each one of us is responsible for creating our own meaning.

“There is not one big cosmic meaning for all; there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person.” ―Anais Nin

The beauty of going on this journey is that we are all in it together. Not a single human came into being because of their own choosing. No one asked you if you’d like to be born. Your parents brought you into the world, and your parents were the result of their parents, and so on. In a strange cosmic sense, every human alive today is in the same boat. We all ask ourselves: Why am I here? What’s the meaning of my life?

INGREDIENT #2 – GRATITUDE

I always thought gratitude was reserved for blindly optimistic or wishful thinkers who couldn’t get what they want in life so they were forced to be thankful for what they do have. I thought intelligent, driven people don’t need gratitude, they just need to work harder and reach their dreams.

This was until my mum dropped this bomb shell on me:
“If you can’t be grateful for what you have now, you’ll never be happy”

This came as a shock to me because at the time I was busy chasing yet another mountain of goals, only focused on the life I wanted to create for myself in the future; only focused on what I didn’t have…

When I made the decision to practice gratitude daily, I felt as though a new world had opened up to me. I could suddenly see things that were invisible to me before. The more I practiced gratitude, the more I started to observe the beauty and blessings I had in my life and the more I felt content with my life.

I started with writing 3 things I was grateful for every morning when I woke up. This simple task made a significant difference to how I felt about my life. I found my mind was constantly looking for things to be grateful for so I could write them down the following day. Gratitude slowly became part of my mindset, something I did without conscious thought.

Without gratitude, it’s difficult to imagine a life of satisfaction. No matter where we are in life, we will always desire something more. Gratitude involves taking a step back in our life and acknowledging and being thankful for all the people and situations that we are blessed with.

Being ungrateful is easy. Take being alive. How much money is your current level of health worth to you? If the richest person on the planet offered to buy your arms from you, how much would you sell them for? What about your eyesight or your sense of smell?

I’ve asked countless friends these questions the answers generally range from a few million dollars to “No amount of money could buy that”. Yet it is so easy to take for granted what’s right under our nose.

INGREDIENT # 3 – PRESENCE

“It’s the moments that I stopped just to be, rather than do, that have given me true happiness.” Richard Branson

Think about the voice inside your head who’s reacting to the words you’re reading right now. I’m speaking to the narrator in your head, yes you!

“What narrator are you talking about?” is exactly what the narrator in your head would say.

It’s estimated we have between 20,000-50,000 thoughts every single day; but don’t worry you’re not crazy (or maybe we are all crazy). 2500 years ago Buddha called this phenomenon: monkey mind. He observed that the human mind is filled with drunken monkeys, jumping around, screeching, chattering, all clamoring for your attention. You just have to sit silently for a few seconds so you can hear them.

This is not to say that having thoughts is bad and we should have less of them. Our huge brains are the primary reason we are alive today. Thinking about the past gives us immeasuarble opportunities for learning and growth and thinking about the future allows us to imagine and create our desired visions. The problem arises when we are over-thinking or worst unaware that we are thinking and have let the monkeys go wild in our minds.

When our mind wanders, we lose touch with the present moment and go into endless thought loops about the past or future.

“Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry – all forms of fear – are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.” Eckart Tolle

Empirically, we spend at least 50% of our waking time mind wandering not focused on the present moment; and the impact of this on our self reported level of satisfaction is clear..

(Watch this TED talk for more research on this)

We have come a long way since Buddha, yet his teachings on meditation remain one of the most effective ways to calm the monkeys in our minds and gain more presence and satisfaction in life. There are now hundreds of studies proving the physical and mental benefits of meditation and other mindfulness practices. We have written a guide complete with stick figures on how to form habitual mindfulness practice here.

“If you are quiet enough, you will hear the flow of the universe. You will feel its rhythm. Go with this flow. Happiness lies ahead.” – Buddha

BAKING YOUR OWN HAPPINESS CAKE

Ultimately each one of us is responsible for making our own happiness cake; one filled with ingredients that gives us true satisfaction and contentment.

But even with this perfect life satisfaction cake, we are bound to experience sadness and pain in our life. This is part of the human experience. Equally, we are bound to experience immense joy and pleasure in our life. True happiness is not about being caught up in these emotional highs and lows of life. Rather it’s learning to enjoy the highs with gratitude and accept the lows with self-compassion.

***

Last but not least,  no matter what cake we choose to bake, let us not forget to share happiness with another  

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” – Buddha

We would love to hear from you about your own happiness journey in the comments below. What’s inside of your happiness cake?

RESOURCES THAT CONTRIBUTED TO THIS POST:

* The Happiness Trap – Russ Harris
* The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck – Mark Manson
* Radical Acceptance – Tara Brach
* The Happiness Hypothesis – Jonathan Haidt
* Man’s Search for Meaning – Viktor Frankl

“This is what a Bitch feels like”— how I practice Mindful Embodiment when Triggered.

*As featured on ElephantJournal.com

There is no shortage of self-help work out there that supports us in setting goals and building awareness around habits that are not serving our greatest good.

While we know what we desire, the hard part is actually putting new thoughts and responses into action until they become the new normal.

I find it fascinating to witness the strength of my habits when I am in emotional distress or triggered, and have discovered the practice of mindful embodiment to be the key for creating change while in the grip of emotion.

Here’s how (and why) I use this practice—and three ways you can start as well.

I was in a mood.

I was on the edge of an emotional outburst. I could feel it.

I was tired, eager to get home, and frustrated with myself because I know how to care for myself and I was neglecting some basic self-care needs. I was in a classic High-Beta brain wave state: tunnel vision on “my problems,” shallow breathing, replaying self-talk loops of negativity and darkness, and a general sense of discomfort in my body.

Sitting in the passenger seat, on our way back to Calgary from a weekend visit to Edmonton, I noticed my partner Andrew’s house keys dangling from the car key that we share. We have our own sets of house/work keys that attach to the car key depending on who is driving or who has the car at the time. In that moment, I realized I didn’t know where my keys were. My keys had been attached to the car key on our drive up, but they were not in the car, and they were not in my bag, and I began to feel panic arise.

I recalled that my keys had been in my bag, and Andrew had taken them out the night we arrived so he could go off to visit his friend. I asked him where he put my keys after he switched his keys onto the chain, and he said he put them where all the keys go at that house—in the key bowl by the phone. I could feel my temperature rising and I asked him why he would put my keys there instead of back in my bag where he found them. He brushed off the question and repeated again that the keys go in the key bowl by the phone, adding, “You should have seen them there and grabbed them.”

I was livid! The conversation escalated as I was probing for an apology and for Andrew to take responsibility for leaving the keys somewhere else than where he found them. Andrew, being just as stubborn as me, stood his ground and refused to take any responsibility for my keys still being in Edmonton.

I was yelling now, and Andrew turned to look at me and said, “Why are you acting like such a bitch?”

Now, first of all, he was intentional with his wording. He did not ask me why I was being a bitch, or why I was a bitch—it was an opportunity for me to pause and check in. Why am I acting like such a bitch?

I knew I had lost control of my emotions.

I closed my eyes and turned away from him. I put my mindful embodiment work into practice. I could feel a lot of heat in my body. I could feel a lot of intense energy lifting up from my belly toward my heart and throat. There was depth and an explosive nature to this energy pooling around my heart.

There were tingles or sparks of the occasional burst in my chest, like uncontrollable twitches that would ripple through my whole body. I could feel my breath was shallow and inconsistent. I could feel numbness or lack of sensation in my lower body, and poor posture as I hunched forward and my shoulders curled slightly in.

As I tracked this sensation and focused more deeply on lengthening and calming my breath, my posture opened up and I felt myself begin to settle into my chair. “Hhmm, this is what a bitch feels like,” I thought to myself.

A smile immediately spread across my face as I was overcome with gratitude for this practice, and my sense of humor began to kick in, allowing me to see the joy and comedy in what just happened.

I turned to Andrew and apologized. I told him that it wasn’t actually a big deal; I would call his parents and they would send the keys in the mail ASAP. And I admitted that my emotional outburst was actually not even about the keys. The keys were an excuse to rage. I was tired and had been overthinking and overanalyzing all weekend, and I didn’t have the awareness those few minutes ago to pause and recognize that I had been avoiding my feelings and steeping in negative thoughts.

That was it, the grand key crisis was over.

Why did this work for me and how can you practice this in your daily experience with emotion?

1. Emotion = Energy in Motion

I had an eating disorder compulsion for 20-plus years and have healed that by practicing mindful embodiment, compassion, meditation, and ultimately retraining my relationship with food. I share my story of healing in my book, Be The Change.

While it can seem scary and uncertain to sit with emotion as it arises, the thought to remember is that emotions are energy-in-motion, and they need to move through to completion. What we resist, persists. By avoiding, shaming, or stewing in emotions, we make them stronger. Yet, when we hold loving space for what we are feeling and allow emotions to move through us like a wave, they will subside and an insight for action toward healing and mending will arise. We need to get ourselves back into the Window of Tolerance (i.e. optimal state of presence) as that is where we have access to our higher levels of thinking and problem solving.

Embodied mindfulness and compassionate connection are the gateway to mental health strength training. When we can find calm, create space, and allow whatever is happening to be okay, we increase our resiliency and can safely process new sensation, as well as reinterpret and reintegrate our old, deep thorns that arise in compulsions or the simple and constant waves of emotions.

2. Fatten the Moment

While we cannot control the impulsive reactions that arise, we can control the deliberate response after a mindful pause. To get into the habit of “fattening the moment” between reaction and response, become completely enthralled by your own breath.

Try setting a timer for 90 seconds and aim to breathe in and out 6-10 times in that duration. Find a short pause at the top of your inhales and a short pause at the bottom of your exhales. Keep it steady, as you focus completely on the process of breathing. Try placing one hand on the ground, palm down, and the other hand on your lap, palm up. Notice what it feels like to be grounded and open simultaneously.

How do we do this?

Breath

>> Add two seconds to your exhale. Feel your lungs emptying out, your diaphragm lifting, and your body relaxing around the emptiness.

Movement

>> Bow your head, fold your body, and move in ways that you would not move if you were actually in physical danger.

>> Get grounded. Try some slow cat/cows, moving with your breath.

Shift

>> Hold quiet space to feel your heart rate slow down. Rather than “do something” just for the sake of it, sit and “do nothing” until you feel full-body presence.

>> Practice embodiment as you track and describe sensation within you.

>> Be a witness to the wave as it rises and subsides.

>> Ask yourself thoughtful and high-quality questions that cause pauses and discernment.

What do I need to cultivate safety right now?
What does my body need for nourishment today?
What perspective can I try on here to create more space for what I am noticing?
Who can I connect with to meet my social engagement need?

3. Track sensation

Your body and mind will follow your breath. A focused and deliberate breath will calm the arrival of emotionally charged, implicit memories as you actively imagine creating space for the wave to surface and move through to completion.

Just as in my example above, the problem was not actually about the keys, it was something much deeper than that, and they keys were my excuse at the time.

“The problem is not the problem, it is your relationship to the problem that is the problem.” ~ Micheal Singer

Nothing gets solved while you’re lost in your compulsion. Get out of your head and into the sensations of embodiment. What does it feel like? Stay with it. How does it shift? Observe it without expectation or judgement, and trust that it wants to move, be processed, and be integrated into a more wholesome and healthy relationship as well.

You have to name it to tame it, so observe your sensations and their qualities:

>> Pulsing
>> Temperature
>> Intensity
>> Weight
>> Dull/sharp/tingling
>> Shooting
>> Movement/direction
>> Squeezing/pointed/pushing/pulling
>> Open/contracted
>> Dense/expansive
>> Stuck/shifting
>> Localized sound
>> Light/dark/color
>> Deep/surface
>> Empty/full
>> Familiar/new

~

“It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable, so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.” ~ Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Fear

Your Peak State is a practice, not a privilege

When I first developed my morning routine, it served me well to stick to a disciplined and structured format that was the same day after day. After a few months, I noticed that the simple and predictable steps no longer felt like nourishment, they felt like a chore to get through.

What serve’s you at one point is not what will necessarily serve you forever

My mental health was no longer in a dire condition, and I had more space and energy available to see options and to explore emotions outside the realm of depression and desperation. I realized that each day calls for something different, and while my "routine" now varies based on my current state and desires, the goal is the same....tap into my ideal STATE of mind. 

Here are 5 simple steps for you to start practicing Your Ideal State:

1. Deep Belly Breaths

It is a common issue to not know how to breathe deep into the belly. Many of us have spent most of our life sucking our belly in, thinking that holding it tight all the time will make our muscles stronger and leaner. Well, turns out the opposite is true. If you hold your belly in all day long, your core muscles are exhausted and will not develop properly, in balance. So let that belly hang! Put your hand on your belly, and breathe deep. Feel your belly button expand away from your body, your sides and back too. Pause at the peak of your inhale, relax around the sensation of fullness. Slowly exhale, and assist your belly button in towards your spine, hollowing out until there is nothing left. Now, let go of tension and allow your belly to inflate like a balloon. Continue for five deep belly breaths. 

When we breathe like this, our mind and body tap into natural relaxation and release. Our habitually fearful or anxious mind will calm down when our breath leads the way. Let your breath be your greatest teacher.

2. Get to know Your Higher-Self

I struggled a lot as a teenager. My mood swings and emotional fixations took me on a wild roller coaster ride on a daily basis. I recall frustration and anger when I would attempt to get to know “the real me” through IQ tests or personality exams or potential career surveys, because how I showed up in life was not really who I believed or knew myself to be. I was lost, sick, and confused. I would read a question and my answer would be, "sometimes yes, sometimes no," or "it depends," or "when I am in a good mood yes but when I am in a bad mood, hell no." These exams made it more clear that I had a community of characteristics or qualities within my own mind and body.

Your Higher-Self is the you you strive to be. We all have a best-self state, and you get access to him/her when you have had a good sleep, you are nourished with food and inspiration, you have taken time to connect with others, connect with yourself, and you feel you are making progress. That is who you are at your core. Get to know that core. What does it feel like? How do you respond when you are in that state? What external conditions support you in tapping into that state? What internal conditions are necessary for you to tap into that state? This is the most important relationship you will ever foster, you between you.  

3. See your Progress

We are biologically hardwired to crave and love progress. We get a boost of dopamine when our mind and body assess a situation as promoting our survival. Progress feels good. Begin your day by completing something on your to-do list. Whether you begin with the biggest or top priority item, or just follow the mantra of "Just Start," our mind reacts with dopamine which will motivate you to keep going. 

4. Don’t judge your impulse to Compare

We are biologically programmed to notice others and compare ourselves in terms of status. The problem is not that we compare ourselves, the problem is we believe these thoughts to be fact and pure truth, and allow ourselves to feel bad or do crazy things to get attention. We can fill this gap by taking time daily to think and write out what we are grateful for. You can take time daily to reflect on how far you have come and what you are proud of. And, take time to acknowledge the beauty and the benefits of where and who you are in this moment. There are always ways we can negatively compare ourselves, and others, but we can reverse that habit and learn to retrain our thoughts to absolutely love and appreciate what is. While you can’t control the impulse to compare, you can control whether you feed that thought or re-direct towards something more expansive and nourishing.

5. Conserve and Create high quality energy 

We have a certain amount of energy to use on a daily basis. There are ways to create a bit more and conserve what we have. But overall, the best plan of action is to limit the amount of ways you waste or drain your own energy. When you have a tank full of fuel, you are able to step back from a situation and consciously choose how to respond versus getting caught up in your auto-pilot reactions.

When you notice you are replaying a past event, over and over in your mind, remind yourself that you are not fixing anything and are wasting energy you could use for something productive. Redirect your thoughts to gratitude, growth, and do-overs. When you notice you are fantasizing about the future, in worry or in excitement, remind yourself that happiness can only be found right now, with a deep belly breath, and a content smile on your face. Know that this is not about being perfect or training your mind to be always focused and in the present moment. The practice is in noticing what isn't serving you well, choosing love and compassion, and returning to your breath and contentment in the now.

The practice is in returning, not staying. The beauty is in growth, not perfection. 

Find time each day to tap into this ideal State. Each time you do, it becomes easier and more accessible. It is not a race, and it is not about getting the most done each day. Allow this to be journey, a lifestyle, and a long-game. Over time, with persistence and consistency, you are going to create the epic shift and be who you truly desire to be. 

The Fascial System - how to embrace your innate complexity

**Hey readers! Here is another excerpt from my second book. I would love to hear your thoughts, questions and insights. xoxox

I was a bully when I was younger, and I was also bullied. I was sweet and empathetic, and I loved telling jokes, playing tricks, and making others laugh or cry. I was sentimental, caring, and loved a good cuddle, and I was also determined, competitive, and obsessive compulsive when it came to practicing basketball. I had bouts of self-love, hope and positivity, and I fell into stints of negative self-talk cycles and would get stuck in feeling ugly or not good enough. I would have a few days of eating to live, a few days of living to eat, and would go for weeks in a cycle of starving myself all day and binging for hours in the evening. I developed a habit of craving the rush I would feel from taking what wasn’t mine, lying, or cheating, just because, perhaps just to feel something other than numbness or despair. One day I could feel so open, loving and generous, and the next day I would close down and push everyone away. I spent years feeling lost, treading water in a sense of lack, convinced I was broken, and impulsively harming myself just to feel something other than confusing depression and lethargy. 

So, who or what is the “real” me? Growing up in a religion as I did, I was taught that there is “good” and there is “bad.” There is “godliness” and there is “evil.” Naturally, I was confused as to which side I fit into.  

What if we are all a complex mix of good and evil? What if we are a mosaic, everything and nothing all at once? A matrix of all possibilities, and a new expression unfolding moment to moment. I now see the importance in the lessons we learn as children - the boundaries, the separatism, what is mine and what is yours, what is black and what is white, etc. We need to learn the parts that make the whole, just as we need to learn the various systems of human anatomy to understand basic function. However, if that is where we stop, we are missing out on the most important lesson of all...we are all one. We are whole and complete as a complex structure that is so much more than the sum of its parts. When we do not come back to wholeness - as integrated humans - we become fragmented, traumatized, delusional, and lost.  

Among the many trainings, workshops, books and conversations that have lit my fire in the past few years, learning about the Fascial System has been one of the most groundbreaking additions to my daily inquiry and fascination. I have enrolled in a myofascial yoga teacher training with Christine Wushke, and have had several moments and days that left me in a transcendental state due to the curriculum and experiences I have encountered. 

In a nutshell, fascia refers to the connective tissue that surrounds every layer of every organ, cell, and structure in your body. It is composed of elastin (which allows the body to move in every dynamic plane possible), collagen (which provides the strength and structure of the human form), and a gel-like substance referred to as ground-substance (which is the fluid that fills all the space in the extracellular matrix; i.e. the space outside the cell). Our body is so wise, because the fascia is a wise system that works like an organ in and of itself. It has become more clear in recent years that traumatic memories, implicit memories, habits, and our general history is stored within the body. And when we address the body, rather than simply the thinking or language ability of the mind, we can heal and transform at a much more successful and efficient rate. 

The Fascial System surrounds, interweaves, and interpenetrates everything in the body and allows all body systems to be integrated. The fascial system is the membrane that everything in the body arises out of. Fascia is fibre-optic and is the pre-sensing organ, before the Nervous System. The Nervous System is embedded in the Fascia, and highjacks the entire body anytime is receives a signal of “danger” (which is far more often than necessary nowadays). The Nervous System reacts to posture, movement, thoughts, ad chemicals of our inner-pharmacy. It’s job is survival, so it is extremely sensitive and animalistic in nature.  

Biotensegrity refers to the balance of tension within the body that allows movement in one area of the body to ripple appropriately through the web-like matrix and impact every corner of the body. When the fascia is tight, it lacks healthy mobility. Overtime, if the localized tension is not released, this puts undue pressure on nerves and blood vessels, which creates adhesions in the fascia that will spread like a run in a nylon stocking, wreaking havoc on the body. When lack of mobility is sustained, the gel-like substance that fills the space between the collagen and elsatin strands hardens, making movement even more difficult and restrains the assimilation of vital nutrients and communication channels through the body. One of our vital roles in this wise human body is to keep it mobile and ensure we redistribute localized tension so that the whole body is working together, and not creating black holes in the universe of the fascial system. 

From this perspective, we can understand tension in a new way. Tension is good. Tension is necessary. If the body had no tension, we would be a pile of mush. We need tension, and what we want is for that tension to be in integrity, balanced and distributed appropriately for desired movement.

My transcedental states have been brought on by the conversation and contemplation of the embryo, and how the creation of life parallels that creation of the universe as we know it. The first 6-8 weeks of the embryo, it is composed entirely of fascia, and there is no “brain” at this point of development. A really fascinating part of embryology is the order in which organs arrive. The first on the scene? The heart. It is formed on the back and moves up and over the head to land in the chest. The brain follows that same path and lands in the head as the heart settles in the chest. The fascia folds, twists, coalesces and fuses to form the various organs, structures, and parts that make up the human form. These parts come from the same substance. The human body is born from fascia. Even our skeletal system is created from crystalized fascia. Upon relaying this information to the students in the myofascial yoga teacher training, Christine then went in the direction of describing what she finds mind-blowing. She said that if you think of the “big bang” in similar terms, you can see that before there were these separate entities of planets and solar systems, there was nothing or everything as a single entity. Then there was an immense amount of power and energy that exploded out and expanded into the birth of stars, planets, galaxies, solar systems, and energetic systems that create the Universe. We look up now and can see the many different parts, the uniqueness, the separateness, yet, it all came from the same “stuff” - just like the human body all comes from fascia. “We are all one” took on a vastly new meaning as soon as this insight sunk in.

Every decision and action and thought is connecting and folding in together to create current reality as we know it. All possibilities are there, and exist in the Quantum Field (containing all possibilities outside of linear time and space). Your current reality unfolds, solidifies, grows, and becomes a unique expression moment to moment, just as a Human Fascial System.

To take this a step further, Christine introduced me to the work of Jaap Van Der Wal, PHD, a phenomenology embryologist from Holland. I listened to a podcast he was interviewed on (The Liberated Body), and was equally touched by his words and the passion behind his words. He says,

“It is not that first the body is formed and then we start to live in it, or start to be awake or aware of it. No, I think from the very beginning on, you can see that your body is a performance, that your body is a process, that it is a lifelong performance. And the entity that is shaping that is me, and me is, not only this body, but also the shaper, the realizer, the performer.”

He goes on, 

“Your body is not producing a brain, and then your brain is producing you. No, it is reversed. You are producing from day 1 to day last, you are performing your body. It is the primary thing you do. Every morning you wake up with a new body. It is not a machine. A machine is built up from parts. A computer is built from bytes and chips, and starts to function. But that is not what you do. You are constantly performing, shaping your body. You do not have a computer in your head. It’s an organ that might function as a computer, which is a poor model and comparison. It is not a computer, it is an organ that can function as a computer...Your body is a behaviour and your brain is just an organ of it.... 

The body does not have a soul, the body is the soul...Soul and body are not separate entities or separate domains, they are one...Therefore, it is not a body producing a soul or a soul producing a body, it is constantly in dialogue between the two dimensions. So we do not have a body, we are a body. And when you are a body, you are a soul that is a body. We are one, not two. We are of course a duality, but we are a non-dual duality, or a nondual polarity.”  

What a mind-blowing concept…”the body does not have a soul, the body is the soul.” Sit with that and notice how this perspective may shift the way you show up and move your body on a daily basis.

Intrigued to learn more?? I am hosting an 8 week online program called: The Four Pillars of Stress Resiliency, and learning how to use the information about the fascial system in your daily life is Pillar #4. Check out this link and reach out if you are interested in participating ;).

Why an immersive retreat experience?

Beth and I are healers. We are experts in our own healing. And we believe and witness healing as the responsibility for each one of us to own.

I can’t heal you, and I can’t do the healing for you, but I can teach you how to heal yourself. Healing is an innate quality that resides in the calm - the space beyond an overactive nervous system. Healing is not a priority when we are activated in the fight or flight response, safety is the priority. And healing happens once we have landed in a safe environment to feel, breathe and steep in restful awareness.

I will never have enough information about you to know if you should break up with your partner, or which job you should pursue, or what you passion or purpose in life is, or what city you should move to, etc. What I can do is hold space for you while you sit with the discomfort of uncertainty and learn to listen to the peace and presence within.

Your intuition, inner-guru and higher power resides in the space behind your mindchatter - it’s always there. It’s quiet and subtle and does not scream for attention. It does not respond to fear or control tactics and it can not be manipulated. It is a pure and a soft knowing. It is comfort in discomfort. It is contentment with discontentment. It is acceptance and peace within the eye of the storm. The more we learn to slow down, be in awe of what is happening inside our body, witness the fluctuations of the mind, and hold space for the silent pulse between breath and thoughts, the stronger our ability to heal becomes.

Do the inner work and watch the world around you change!

“It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable, so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.”

Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Fear

This retreat is for those who want to learn how to be their own healer xoxoxox

Re-Parent Yourself

I have been working on letting go of some deeply ingrained through patterns that leave me in judgement and anger towards my family. To step out of the trauma of childhood, we need to embrace re-parenting ourselves as adults. It’s no one else’s job to heal you. It’s your duty to create the life you desire, and there is no one to blame. As I have made some major progress in this area this summer, this blog post is my healing journey from reiki table to real life.

I recall laying on Christine Wushke’s table in her basement studio/clinic space in Okotoks on July 10. I was there for a reiki session, intrigued by her expertise in the fascial system and how that would influence her take on facilitating a reiki session. I had reached out to set up this appointment because of my reoccurring struggle with anger and frustration towards some family members. I desperately wanted to show love and compassion and patience, and I knew I needed to accept and allow others to be who and where they are, yet this “knowing” was not enough to effect my repetitive reactions and thoughts. For my own sake, and for others, I knew I needed to heal whatever was blocking me from pure love, compassion and acceptance.

The session started with me laying on my back, eyes closed, and focusing on my breath. I was asked what it is I came in for, and I explained my above confusion and struggle. I added that I am not happy with judging others for not being “strong enough” to find health and happiness.

She repeated back what she heard, and then put it into a phrase of “I accept others as they are.” She repeated that phrase softly a few times, and asked me what, if anything, I noticed in my body as I heard those words.

I recall feeling my energy build in my throat and jaw, and a sensation of my teeth slightly clenched and my jaw lifting up. I explained this to Christine, and she then assisted me in exaggerating the movement slightly while repeating the phrase a few times. While allowing this movement to happen and being so open and curious to what would arise, I suddenly had a visual of little Marin, at age 4 or 5, putting up her dukes ready to fight.

I shared this visual with Christine, along with the memory of being a feisty child who literally put my fists up on several occasions ready to fight for what I wanted and for those I loved. On one occasion, at age 4, I saw my older brother (age 10) being picked on, and I ran over and stood in between him and his peers, fists up and ready to rumble.

Through insightful questions and empathetic acknowledgement of what I said, Christine guided me into a scene in my childhood, and a recollection of feeling like I was needed to protect my siblings and mother. As the adult now, I tapped into a feeling of hurt, loneliness, sadness and dis-ease in the belief that I didn’t have the role models and support that I needed and wanted when I was young.

Christine asked me to imagine the role models I would have appreciated as a young girl, and to invite them into my imagined childhood scenario. In that moment, I pictured myself as an adult, my hubby Andrew as an adult, and my step-mom Karen. I placed us in the scene in my Port Coquitlam home. The wise and calm energy we would bring into the otherwise chaotic environment. The ability to make my dad laugh and keep him grounded, to support my mom and inspire her to make positive changes for her health and well-being, and the ability to connect with little me and gift her the guidance and heartfelt mentorship she so badly desired from a young age.

I watched this imaginary scene play out, and witnessed little Marin put down her fists and open her heart. She would have been so excited and thrilled to travel time and see who she became as an adult. I was filled with joy and peace.

Christine asked me where little Marin would like to rest in my body now, and I said “my heart.” I watched little Marin, with a smile on her face, curl up into my heart, fully supported, no need to fight anymore. She then asked me what word would describe what I am feeling now, and I responded “integrated.”

Since that session, I have felt an overwhelming sense of peace and acceptance. I still have habits and triggers but they don’t feel as strong as they did before. My inner-child is at rest, no longer angry and fighting, no longer waiting for others to be stronger or for someone to show up and lead by example.

We all have wounds and thorns from growing up, and it is our duty as adults to reflect and hold space for ourselves to heal and integrate these various parts of who we are back into the wholeness of our being. While body work, therapy and a coaching program is a vital and efficient way to support this process, we can also be doing things on a daily basis.

Dr. Nicole is a holistic psychologist, and she says; “Re-parenting is giving ourselves what we didn't receive in childhood. These are the things parents are supposed to model for their children. Most parents are unaware that these are part of the parenting process or did not receive these themselves. As adults, it is now our responsibility to teach them to ourselves.”

She then goes through a list of basic tools and skills that parents can be teaching to their children, yet when these skills are missed, it is our duty as adults to teach to ourselves. This list includes:

Accountability

Discipline

Emotional Regulation and Connection

Self Awareness

Self Reflection

Ability to be Present

Of course parents aren’t perfect. Parents are simply imperfect humans who had children. There is no special skill bestowed upon them because they get pregnant. And to make matters even more complex, these imperfect humans also become sleep deprived and overwhelmed with the increase in responsibility. It is not easy!! I have absolutely no anger towards my parents for raising me the way they did. While I can see the ways that my parents influenced my mental health struggles, I can also see how they did the best that they could with the information they had, and there was so much that was amazing about my upbringing. I am not going to ignore or pretend everything was perfect, and I am also not going to blame anyone or take on the role of the victim.

Re-parenting ourselves is a process of choosing one habit at a time, and creating an action plan around a daily practice to ensure we are doing what we can to shift.

If you want further support in your re-parenting process, reach out! Whether we work together one on one, or you jump in on an online program, or you simply get a few tools and resources to practice, we all deserve the right to live this life to the best of our ability, and I would be honored to play a role in your health and well-being.

And big thanks to Christine Wushke for being one of my mentors and support during this gift of life. xo

Book #2 - the "shitty first draft"

I am officially in my “summer sabbatical” as I have been calling it, and am so grateful for the privilege to take time off from teaching and coaching so that I can focus on my own expansion through retreats, play time, hiking, reading, creating, and putting massive time and energy into book #2! I do not intend to be done this book before the end of the summer, but my goal is to have the bulk of it done so that I can get back into a more full schedule and utilize my small blocks of free time more efficiently.

Inspired by Brene Brown, I have decided to use my blog space to post my shitty first drafts of various sections. Any great project goes through an evolution of its own, and I would love to share this process with any of you who are interested and inspired by this work.

Here is my introduction…so far. I would love to hear what you think!!

Introduction

In my first book, Be the Change, I tell my story of my intense - often crippling - mental health struggles and what it took to retrain my self-talk patterns, my habits, and ultimately begin the journey to healing. I faced my toxic relationship with food, my self-loathing that led me to various forms of self-harm, my turmoil with being raised in a religion, and my sudden and confusing debilitating relationship with death. Be the Change is an autobiography and self-help book, as I pave the way with insights, stories, and tools to practice your way out of darkness and into reframing your life’s story as you step into the light.

We all have mental health, just as we all have physical health, and it can be in great shape and it can be in a dire state. Bottom line: Mental Health affects us all. Why? Because we all have a brilliant mind-body-soul system that requires certain forms of nourishment to function at an optimal level, and few of us are taught these important lessons as children. 

I have experienced, time and time again, that when I share from my heart and create a conversation around meaning, purpose, freedom, tools, and how to practice, everyone benefits. This is how I have sustained my individual evolution as well as the collective evolution towards the best version of ourselves. While my first book served as inspiration and hope for those in immense struggle, it also details how to reframe your story to ensure it is the strong foundation beneath your feet versus the heavy weight on your back. This book serves as the next step in my own evolution, a guide to depth and embodiment, a reclaiming of spirituality and a step by step process on how to be physically and mentally FIT for your unique contribution in the world.

My mission in life is to teach people how (and why) to get back into their bodies; because that is what saved my life and continues to be the catalyst for further awakenings, unravelings, and an overall sense of peace and contentment on a daily basis. We live in a time of disembodiment. There is an epidemic of people who are so disconnected from their bodies that they can't feel sensation (or are terrified to feel sensation) or discern between present, real-time feelings versus the feelings of another, feelings recycled from the past, or feelings from thoughts about the future - and I was one of these people! We see the effects of disembodiment, separatism, and lack of meaning/purpose as depression and mental health struggles continue to rise. It can be terrifying to re-enter your body after years of being disconnected. But I know from experience, while it can seem scary at first to practice embodiment (for some), it is far worse to continue the pattern of disengaging from your body - and from the moment - as that takes us further away from the growth and connection we seek.

As I have continued to connect with people and get the honest and vulnerable picture of where they are and what they struggle with, I have discovered what I refer to as “awareness limbo.” This is the space between awareness and actual change. We know “better,” but there’s a gap between knowing and doing. I knew certain foods were not sitting well in my body, yet I continued to eat them. I knew my relationship with cannabis had turned into a coping mechanism and an excuse to stay in a depressive state or activate a creative state without being honest and real with where I was at, yet I avoided change for years. I knew connection, creation, movement, fresh air, yoga, meditation, adventure, trying new things, going to bed between 9-10pm, etc., was what my body needed, yet I - time and time again - would do the opposite. 

It is one thing to heal from past traumas, to develop the ability to broaden your awareness, to see your own patterns and habits, and to observe yourself without judgement, yet there is a crevasse between this necessary awareness and the actual steps to create sustainable change. And I have come to believe - through personal experience, coaching, conversations and lots of research - that this gap is based on the function or dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system. (More on this later on).

What holds you back? What makes you hesitate before you speak your truth, show up in your truth, or make bold leaps towards what your heart desires? When was the last time you felt truly free? I am here to remind you, and show you, that you have everything you need already inside of you, and when you learn how to cultivate space and energy in your mind and body, and calm and soothe your own nervous system, you get access to your innate wisdom and the discipline you need to create change. 

Anything that I have discovered and felt, can be discovered and felt by you. Any power or skill you see others exude, you also can cultivate and step into. There is no “guru” out there that can give you what you don’t already have within. There is no Master Leader of any kind that has magical abilities that you don’t also have access to. There is no religion that can grant you eternal life or forgiveness that you cannot grant or earn for yourself. There is no perfect diet that we all should ascribe to. There is not one type or style of movement that trumps all others. There is not a treasure chest at the end of the rainbow with the secret sauce or chalice that gifts you the secret to life. This is not to say that we can’t learn from each other or that it is wrong to lean on others occasionally or seek support. In fact, I would encourage anyone and everyone to find a community of people who are living in the way you desire to live. We are relational beings and connection is a basic biological imperative. What I am saying is that there is a big difference between seeking support versus bowing down to someone as if they have the magic wand.

We are complex, we are each unique, and dare I say it, we are each special. How can we not be? The process of creation and birth and upbringing and life experiences are what carves each one of us into the beings that we are. So much in common, yet vastly different. Who we are is so much more than what we do, how we feel, or what we think or say. We have depths and layers of our being, and when we integrate and connect with our wholeness, we have everything we need to step into our own personal and full power.

It is a common human experience to search outside of ourselves for something or someone that will “fill the void” or remedy our sense of lack. What you seek is inside of you, right now, always has been and always will be. And when we all can learn to cultivate a sense of groundedness, practice mindful embodiment, capture insights as they arise, take care of your “machine” with knowledge of your basic needs, live with compassion and radical acceptance, deliberately focus the arrow of our awareness, and align in our own purpose in this life, we create a revolution of people who are physically and mentally FIT for their unique contribution in this world.

Are you ready?

xoxox

WHY and WHAT is not enough......it's all about the HOW

Hello sweet readers ;)

I have been diving deep into the Poly Vagal Theory and the Fascial System to understand more about why we don’t do what we know we need to do. I will share more on both the Vagus Nerve and the Fascial System in my next two blog posts, but for now, just know that these are tangible and physiological systems that bridge the gap between woo-woo magic and factual science. “Your body is so wise” and “Take a deep belly breath to calm your system” - these are two sayings that make a lot more sense when you truly understand how your mind and body works.

Before I get nerdy and dive into what I have been learning and practicing, what I hope for you right now is to give you a bit of insight into why discipline is not simply a matter of will-power or just doing what you say you’re going to do. We are far more complex than that.

Direction is important. Setting goals is necessary. Implementing an accountability system improves your chances of success and a sustainable path for practice and growth. Yet, if it were that simple and easy, everyone would be achieving their goals and living the life they desire.

I have learned from experience that a clear direction is only half of the equation. We also need to understand how our mind and body works so that we can create more space and energy, notice the patterns and habits that get in the way of progress, and work with the complexities of our system. If clear direction and know-how is Top-Down or cognitive, then knowing HOW to calm and soothe your Nervous System, develop new patterns of thoughts and action, and develop the motivation to stay the course towards delayed-gratification is Bottom-Up (or from the subconscious system).

While it is vital to learn and expand by ingesting new experiences and new information, real change sets in when we get our WHOLE system on board so that we can truly see our patterns, love them and include them into our identity and release the grip from which they came from. We can then witness our pain or dis-ease and observe how we cling even when we know the destruction of these habits. Ultimately, we discover that we can be with ourselves during roadblocks, triggers or self-sabotage moments, and when we cultivate space to pause here, we can truly learn and release the “thorns” that keep us shackled to the stunted parts of ourselves.

And you know what it takes to do this work?? Space for self-inquiry and a skillful muscle of being your own Nervous System whisperer. By taking time each day to sit with yourself and notice your thoughts, you begin to build a new habit of cultivating space. That space can then creep in when you notice yourself have an impulsive reaction or get stuck in a mood or state that is not serving you.

It is not enough to have a thinking mind that KNOWS BETTER or that understands that what happened to you as a child was not your fault. It is your BODY that needs to understand this! And the body (fascial system) does not speak in words, it speaks in chemicals and feelings. Over-riding and thinking through the feelings in your body can only take you so far. Body-work, mindful embodiment, and practicing being with sensation, that is the work of truly healing the body and stepping more fully into who you desire to be.

There are so many ways to get access to that kind of healing, and in our day and age there are more and more people getting trained and waking up to this simple truth about the mind-body connection.

If you are curious to learn more and would like support in the process, please reach out. I create personalized coaching programs for individuals, host workshops for small groups and businesses, and have some group coaching programs coming up that will start in the Fall and New Year. Let’s keep growing and healing together xoxo

Hello Stress my old friend

Oh stress, my old friend. The unwanted visitor that used to live like a permanent squatter in my proverbial basement. Who used to wreck havoc in every room of my proverbial house, and leave me feeling completely out of control and disenchanted with my experience of life.

While I am rarely overtaken by stress anymore, I’m still human and I definitely get the occasional bouts of overwhelm that force me to slow down and really put my work into practice. This week I have been in the thick of overwhelm. I know why, as I have let some very basic needs slip from my priority list, and am now back-pedalling to recommit and get myself back into a grounded and balanced state. It happens. And I figured, while I am putting the pieces back together, I would share my key steps with you. Keep in mind that these are steps that need to be revisited on a fairly regular basis. And each time, I learn more, I become stronger and more resilient, and I experience expansiveness on a more regular occurrence. We must be okay with losing our way, because it means we can edit, adjust, and get to know “our way” that much better.

Step 1: Check your self talk. Stress breeds more stress. When your body is in distress, your self talk will match that vibration. Taking time to pause throughout the day to check in,

“What am I thinking about?”

“Is that necessary right now?”

“Is there a different perspective I could try on here?”

“What can I control right now, and what do I need to let go of?”

“What am I grateful for?”

Step #2: create space by embracing where you are. I always start feeling better as soon as I stop blaming or being angry about my predicament. So here I am, a bit stressed and overwhelmed, that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to struggle. But I definitely don’t need to struggle because I’m struggling and then struggle some more. 

Step #3: check in on your basic biological needs. Stress is a sign of lacking balance, which could be from lacking or over-exerting in an important category of your health.

How’s my sleep patterns been lately?

What has my diet looked like the past few days?

Where do I notice bouts of high energy and where are my patterns of low energy throughout the day?

What do I need more of?

What do I need less of?

Who are the people I can reach out to for support or connection?

What places and environments will put me in the energy I want more of?

What activities can I engage in today to get my engine revving or support my ability to slow the F down?

Step #4: Don’t just do something, sit there. Once I have become clear on what needs to be tightened up, what needs to shift, what conversations need to be had, what habits need to be attentively cared for, I know I need the space and energy to start making small steps from a place of peace and contentment rather than from fear or desperation. More time with my hand on my heart, my eyes closed, and nothing but focused breathing. Get behind your mind chatter and tap back into the expansiveness that is always there.

Now all you have to do is get started! Write out reminders, share with the people you love, and prioritize you well-being. No one can do this for you.

If you are looking for further support and inspiration, register for the dope(a)me discipline 21 day challenge. A simple and low-cost program that will pay off in a substantial return on investment. You’re not alone. And you definitely do not need to fight through your stress solo. Let’s do it together.

xoxo

1 on 1 coaching reflection questions

Hey there ;)

I want you to live every moment of your life with depth, gratitude, and a sense of contentment. For some of us, that seems ultimately impossible. For 20 years of my life, I felt like I was locked inside a shell and didn’t know how to break out. I wanted to feel good but it seemed so far out of reach. I now do what I do, because I have experienced the low lows, the darkness, the defeat, and the complete overwhelm of lacking control and watching myself make one terrible decision after another. I survived. And I choose to make the most of everyday because I know how precious and fragile life truly is. I came out the other side completely inspired to share what I had learned so that fewer people would experience despair unnecessarily.

If you are curious about where to start, WELCOME! I am happy to engage in anyway that allows you to gain clarity in what you need to practice and what nourishment you need to keep your engine revving and your mind open.

For any client I work with, it starts with a process of getting to know each other through a series of reflection questions. Here are a few I like to use. Try them out and if you feel compelled to share your responses, I would love to receive a message from you. xo

1. What gets you up in the morning?

2. What is your morning routine to tap into your ideal mindset? Don’t have one yet? What are you willing to try tomorrow?

3. What have you experienced that you could say was a “big failure,” yet after the fact you realized it was the best thing that could have happened? What did you learn from it?

4. What are three things most people don't know about you?

5. What are your goals this year?

6. What is your current struggle?

7. What reminder do YOU need to keep yourself motivated this week?

High quality questions get high quality answers ;). Have fun xox

p.s. If these questions got your creative juices flowing and you want another step to get started with. Head to the 21 day challenge and set yourself up with three weeks of daily inspiration and guided instruction to support your pathway towards a healthier mind and body.

21 Day Challenge - the dope(a)me discipline

One of the most fascinating (and considerably frustrating) things about the mind is that we can KNOW what we need but that does not necessarily correlate with actually making any changes towards that KNOWING. If all we needed to do was know what we need or want, then there would not be an epidemic of depression, disillusion, self-harm, and mental health afflictions in the general population.

The conscious mind is at the helm 5% of the time - which is where we say things like “I want to be more healthy,” “I want to practice meditation and movement,” or “I want to show up more grounded for those I love most.” Yet, the majority of our day (95%) is spent in our programming - the subconscious realms of the mind and the unconscious strength of the body.

This 21 day challenge was created to support YOU in creating the foundation you need for the change you desire. It is grounded in the science of habits and provides instruction on how to meditate, how to listen and follow sensation in your body, and ultimately, how to clear and create space in your mind and body so you have what you need to do something different than what you did yesterday.

Too often we get bogged down by how far we have to go, or we get overwhelmed by looking at all the variables and changes needed, and our energy is drained before we even begin. I have learned many times over that by setting the bar low and committing to small steps, massive change becomes simple.

By working with the animalistic nature of our human-ness, and understanding how to trick our mind and body to make the changes we desire, we can create new habits of thought and action that seem impossible from where we are standing right now.

This challenge is focused on a simple morning and evening routine. When we learn how to slow down, hold space and notice what we are feeling, we get access to the depths of our programming. We have to get beyond the analytical mind through practice. When we slow our brain waves down, we enter the operating system of the unconscious program and that is where we can create real and sustainable change. It is not will-power that you need, it is SPACE.

The WHY

You know what you need or want more of. When you stop to think about the habits or patterns that are getting in the way of your progress, you can list them out no problem. When asked what gets in your way, 9 times out of 10 you respond with “myself.” There is no shortage of information out there detailing what a healthy and balanced lifestyle looks like. Yet, if change were easy and if we actually did what we know we needed to do, you would be feeling content, grounded and full of inspiration on a daily basis, and the shame, guilt and exhaustion you currently deal with would be a tale of your past.

This 21 day challenge is for YOU! This is a simple formula to follow in order to create and conserve the high quality energy you desire for your life. This program serves to support you in staying focused on what you truly want for yourself and others, while building the foundational habits and knowledge to sustain the trajectory towards the success and growth you seek.

The PATH

This challenge is simple. Everyday, you carve out two minutes in your morning and two minutes in your evening, dedicated to connecting, moving, and writing. Just TWO MINUTES! I also offer several resources, videos and invitations to explore reflection questions throughout the process. While two minutes is the minimum requirement, you can add more time and learning if that is what lights you up.

The HOW

We can feel motivated and inspired one moment and yet lose our steam within minutes, especially when we are in a habit of draining our own energy with negative self talk, over-analyzing, and the deflating mindset that appears when we start and stop more than we successfully complete what we set out to do. Don’t hate your monkey mind, don’t berate your inner-child for throwing tantrums, and definitely do not fall into shame or guilt when you see that you are not perfect. Embrace who and where you are, and focus on creating space, because that is where healing and sustainable change occurs.

We need to love ourselves up and work with our animalistic mind that happens to be at the wheel more than our more pragmatic and delayed-gratification seeking conscious mind.

Join me for this 21 day challenge and you will have the foundational building blocks in place for any goal and direction you desire!

First step, ensure you are registered on my mailing list!

Second step, purchase the 21 day program!

Let’s have some fun xoxo

Le'go your Ego

I am in the midst of a curious pursuit of understanding our cultural fixation on the EGO. While I have heard now from several people that it’s not a big deal, it’s just semantics, I have seen and experienced that what starts with semantics can often spiral into something much more restricting and unhealthy.

What starts as simple language to describe the impulse for things we “know” are not what we truly want for ourselves, becomes an image of this little gremlin sitting on our shoulders that we need to retrain, or kill off, or learn how to live with. It can become a scapegoat for emotions and actions that make us uncomfortable. And it has become a way of demonizing and criticizing others, as we quickly label “too much confidence” as someone with an ego-problem.

Above and beyond the impulse, we have also labeled certain self-talk patterns as stemming from the ego. So, not only does this “ego” try to seduce us towards instant-gratification - albeit as a self-preserving quality and intention - it can also be a narrator in our mind that pumps our own tires or deflates them.

I don’t necessarily see anything wrong with this caricature that serves to defend and prevent self harm, but eventually we have to stop and ask, “where did this ego-vernacular come from?” AND “Is there a better or more expansive way of understanding how the mind and body works?”

These are the questions I have been deeply invested in for the past few months. And these are the questions I am going to leave you with to ponder. I am not here to tell you what to think or what is “right” and what is “wrong.” I am here to teach you how to pause and check-in and question what you may have always believed or what you have learned to believe.

For me, being in deep inquiry about the ego was something that lit me up for years. I have loved the self-inquiry and insights I have received from trying to understand the ego and see it in action. I wrote extensively about it in my book Be The Change. What I would love for us all to do now is recognize that what served you to get to this point is not necessarily what will serve you to get to the next level. And I have experienced that relying on the “ego” to understand my ever-expanding connection to my mind and body, began to restrict my expansion and the puzzle pieces were not fitting together.

I would love to hear your thoughts and questions as I continue this path and develop my next post that can serve as an exploration away from “ego” and towards a much more expansive and helpful model.

xo